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Forgive me for the terror and horror I have unleashed into my community. For my daughter has gotten her drivers license. Let us pray.
Found out today women don't always enjoy a smack on the ass.
Twitter is environmentally friendly. I used to write all this shit down before.
If I masterbate thinking of you with your clothes on that's love , right?
Instead of the 23rd psalm or the footprints poem I want my Twitter timeline on my obituary.
Toronto Maple Leafs should write "Stanley" on their jock straps so at least they can say they held the cup.
I can rub the wrinkles out of my own dick but the gray hairs on my balls, now that's something to worry about.
I need not Viagra,
But I do need She-ra to harness this energy from below my belt.
It's not that I didn't shower as much as I'm letting my natural oils rejuvenate my skin and hair.
Have you been abusing laxatives again?
When you left me I felt a big hole where my heart should be.
cause Bitch you shot me.
What are the meds that has the little sticker that says:
Take with alcohol.
It made her giggle when I farted. Now that we're older and I have some depth and range, now its disgusting?
I don't get women.
Happy New Year
Dad, Autoworker, trapped in a comedy of errors, wanna be Biker. Always looking for a laugh.