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Matt Bomer is living proof that if a guy is too good-looking, he's probably gay
The bar I went to tonight gave a free jello shot whenever a main character on 'Game of Thrones' died. In summary: I'm drunk
That awkward moment when you and the coworker who sits 5 ft away from you lock eyes before you both go take a simultaneous shit
Wow a baby took a shit on a crowded train today and we were all powerless against it. No one child should have all that power
Less penne, more vodka
It's hard to differentiate between Halloween and a typical Saturday night in NYC
Long Island City is a weird parallel universe version of Queens
The venn diagram representing those who watch 'Game of Thrones' and those looking forward to the Liberace movie is 2 circles drawn far apart
I want sex with all of you
Fact: Most of the spanish I know was learned from the spanish version of Christina Aguilera's 'Come on over' music video
Part of being vegan is spending every waking moment reminding everyone that you're vegan
Waiting for the eventual Lil Wayne/Ed Sheeran crossover song
Attn Girls adopting that trend of having thick but trimmed eyebrows: Yes.
Thankful for dat ass
I don't know how to explain it, but I want to nut-punch every cockface I see wearing an 'OBEY' hat
In NYC, sometimes you need to have irrational concerns. Like please don't let this crazy guy jump on the train tracks and die/make me late
Writer, Comedian, Actor. Jennifer Carpenter's butt-double. Not human, dancer.