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Matt Bomer is living proof that if a guy is too good-looking, he's probably gay
Wow a baby took a shit on a crowded train today and we were all powerless against it. No one child should have all that power
Less penne, more vodka
It's hard to differentiate between Halloween and a typical Saturday night in NYC
I want sex with all of you
Attn Girls adopting that trend of having thick but trimmed eyebrows: Yes.
Thankful for dat ass
I don't know how to explain it, but I want to nut-punch every cockface I see wearing an 'OBEY' hat
This girl just took a shit so loud that I could hear it through the walls in the men's bathroom. I think I'm in love.
Whenever I visit the Queens Center Mall, I think to myself 'Lefrak City bitch'
I'm just gonna livetweet my entire experience at this bar in Maspeth.
Took a wrong turn in New Jersey and ended up in Philly. That summarizes New Jersey in a nutshell
Ghetto ass Pad Thai for lunch. It's just noodles with peanuts added
Rain = no one wants to get out of bed this morning
But my patience is a lot like me: thin
Parody account of my life. OKC in the West, NYK in the East. Ovoxo all day