@mrdtweet's (Per Vert) most faved Tweets...
My 14 yr old sister is on Twitter. And she's following me. Thats more uncomfortable than this edible thong I'm wearing
I liked it so I put a ring on it. And by "it" I mean my cock. And by "ring" I mean this glazed donut
l
l
I play dumb so women would take advantage of me and use me for sex. It always works!
Minus the sex part
Minus the sex part
Two things you can look forward to while having sex with me:
1)lots of crying.
2)Asking to be held afterwards.
Both will be done by me
1)lots of crying.
2)Asking to be held afterwards.
Both will be done by me
Smartphone? HA! If my phone was SOO smart..it would self-install a breathalyzer to prevent me from drunk texting my mom
If I offend anyone on Twitter, I apologize
For you not being able to take jokes about boobs, farts, blowjobs and my lack of sex.
Dickhead
For you not being able to take jokes about boobs, farts, blowjobs and my lack of sex.
Dickhead
What? Of course I'm listening to you.
I'm just thinking of how to write this, so people on Twitter can know how stupid you are
Carry on
I'm just thinking of how to write this, so people on Twitter can know how stupid you are
Carry on
People who put me on their lists but don't follow me...It's like having sex with me but not letting me sleep over.
And thats fine with me
And thats fine with me
You think its hard out here for a pimp? What about that Flamingo that had to die for the pimps Coat?
When I ask for advice, What I really mean is
"Tell me what I wanna hear or shut the fuck up. Thanks."
"Tell me what I wanna hear or shut the fuck up. Thanks."
IF I HEAR ONE MORE CHRISTMAS SONG
I'm going to log onto Twitter & complain about how much I hate Christmas music, in 140 characters or less
I'm going to log onto Twitter & complain about how much I hate Christmas music, in 140 characters or less
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