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Why does McDonald's only have Happy Meals? They need meals for all the emotions. Grab a Nervous as Hell Meal. Angry as Shit Meal & whatnot.
I don't play the Whack-a-Mole game at carnivals 'cause it reminds me of when my family was attacked by moles & I was unable to defend them
If everyone under 25 becomes a DJ who's gonna dance? WHO THE HELL'S GONNA DANCE????!?!?!?!?!??!
Donald, bring that next rally to Detroit. Then swing by Compton after that.
Ted Nugent is like Yosemite Sam and a truck stop urinal had a baby. https://twitter.com/TedNugent/status/684499656454225920 …
This country went to hell when kids stopped wearin' those propeller hats. Let's put some damn propeller hats on these nasty ass kids.
I love all y'all and there's nothing you can do about it.
"In spite of everything, I still believe people are really good at heart." - Anne Frank
No one sounds more like they attended Trump University than Trump.
Wanna get folks outta that building in Oregon real fast? Have a black family move in next door.
Don't call 'em soft pretzels you don't know what they've been through.
A good prank would be putting a fake spider in your friend's shower then right before he sees it you just punch him in the face
Shout out to all the amateur nouns. Sick and tired only hearing about the pros and whatnot.
Shout out to political bumper stickers, changing nobody's mind and lowering the value of your car and whatnot.
Trump's dad was KKK but left $200m. Shit MY dad can be KKK if he leaves me $200m. March all U want pa. Burn a cross on my damn birthday cake
Whoever Granny Smith was she was good as shit at apples. They don't name apples after people unless they were good as shit at apples.
The Official George Wallace Twitter. Trying to serve it up with hot sauce for you. God bless.
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