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Holy bat shit! Just heard @blakeshelton is coming to the Hard Rock! 2011 is already kick ass!
@budandbroadway @ladyantebellum for the love of God please retweet this! So tired of hearing grown men sobbing uncontrollably every dang day
If your boobs hang down & nipples point down to the ground WEAR A BRA!!!
Headed home to put up Halloween decorations. To quote Tim Williams, I'm a leader not a follower.
Thinking of organizing a telethon for stupid people. We must find a cure!
Looks like I need to buy some zesty Italian ASAP!! pic.twitter.com/wZ6GcRLPeU
I have a sneaky suspension that all the young rednecks standing in line at the pharmacy are all getting STD med refills. I could be wrong.
We had a damn good night with @budandbroadway. I can sop them up with a biscuit @cwizzle99
My road rage is at a red level today. I don't understand why we can't run people off the road. Isn't that what insurance is for?
@alejacastillog @sarahcolonna are you 12??? You seriously have one direction as your pic? Go do your homework or something.
My Saturday night is getting out of control. I'm thinking about doing my taxes. Maybe watch 48 Hours. This girl knows how to party.
Does anyone know if I have to have a license to fly a plane? Also, can somehow teach me to fly by Thursday? I HAVE to get to Dallas.
Someone please tell the people on The List to lay off the tanning. They are the same color as Doritos.
Church whore. Honky Tonker, Professional eater. Heisman Trophy winner. Rocket Scientist. Devoted Sweating to the Oldies enthusiast.
