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  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    Your real friends are the ones who notice when you go silent

    • 62
    • FAVS
    alex_marchantgetoffmyplanetTHEPokerWifeayybee_xoxoTurboJellyBeanDeannaCCMAthenameisSavi____heatherjs
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    Hozaifa__TurboJellyBeanheatherjsJaeMar68anidiotinNYC______iyersagarstevejnrsFavstar500Favs
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    I just think if you’re gonna put any kind of tracking tag on a penguin in the wild, it should look like a bow-tie

    • 53
    • FAVS
    alex_marchantgetoffmyplanetMuffin192NASTYBOYTATERTheTexas_Belle1followernodadchiachillinTurboJellyBean
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    Muffin192TurboJellyBeanmadcameljockeyheatherjsShaistaJustinTheCrumbDiarylaVraeDarzieDAMN__
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    I liked parkour better when it was just called ADHD

    • 49
    • FAVS
    alex_marchantgetoffmyplanettheMichelleCopeAwgusteeenObliviousRexswingcrusaderJanso95dontshoothoops
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    ObliviousRexswingcrusaderiammaylynnorphananni1978MissPaige229plurosciousiLikeCatShirtsTurboJellyBean
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    Twitter is like preschool

    You make friends by sharing pictures of animals

    Nap all the time

    And you get little yellow stars for being good

    • 31
    • FAVS
    getoffmyplanetSadieUrnessJennCoco_shelbiaguilarrHuwLaytonMoveLikeGarrisTHEPokerWifeThe_MissingNo
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    eReiderrAlyssa_Jolie__MoveLikeGarrisTurboJellyBeanheatherjsStaceyShortcakelaVraegigi1333
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    You made me so happy, right up to the point I realized they were all just words and no actions

    • 23
    • FAVS
    getoffmyplanetMsFlghtlessBrd____TurboJellyBeanTinmansgirl1Votremelodie__b_jinksheatherjsStaceyShortcake
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    getoffmyplanetMsFlghtlessBrd____Tinmansgirl1heatherjsSmiley_Virusssreddhenn__________kellie_louise4__gigi1333
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    Hope is torturing me

    • 20
    • FAVS
    getoffmyplanetMsFlghtlessBrd____TurboJellyBeanJUSTLisandraMars_Bar_LiilMinxBloodonthebreezgigi1333
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    gigi1333UnhingedBlaheliserose5MsNitnots
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    There are very few problems that can’t be solved by making a pillow fort

    • 17
    • FAVS
    getoffmyplanetMsFlghtlessBrd____TurboJellyBeanStaceyShortcaketyhah31random_tammieMars_Bar_JustUnstableMe
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    random_tammieMars_Bar_gigi1333b00bjizzKimberleeTaylorgetwireddarth
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    “Fuck” is the swiss army knife of words, it makes your stubbed toe feel better, repels idiots, helps open jars…

    • 11
    • FAVS
    getoffmyplanetreprocessedMsSugarTitsopenchakrahellofraydohereDawnieF6340BromanConsulCardinalForce
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    reedurandtQuizz_vd_MerweRichardBruneSAbiffbangbiffProfBokdrolSauceLoofcarickeNicLoydell
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    “Failure is not an option”

    Correct, failure is a result, giving up is an option.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    getoffmyplanetMsFlghtlessBrd____Mars_Bar_JustUnstableMeLiilMinxgigi1333BasmaholicTomafcBond
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    getoffmyplanetMsFlghtlessBrd____gigi1333BasmaholicJarredGasperkhaidem110msudbb00bjizz
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    In a sense, love and trust are both measures of how much someone can hurt you

    • 14
    • FAVS
    getoffmyplanetMsFlghtlessBrd____Mars_Bar_JustUnstableMethunderinmysoulUghNotAgaingigi1333SlinkLivesOn
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    itsonlybreezy____gigi1333TyAdelaarCristanBBaileyAreyOhChampamike_reid20______Skullcat
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    Sometimes when a daddy grahamcracker and a mommy peanut butter jar love each other very much…

    • 13
    • FAVS
    getoffmyplanetMsFlghtlessBrd____Mars_Bar_JustUnstableMeEaton_Beaverthestonerfairy__Ynot101ladyfiredancer
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    thestonerfairy__Ynot101ladyfiredancerSamuel_Clemonsskullpuppy11_MerxxxSkullcat
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    Why did the duck get sent to rehab?

    He had a terrible quack habit.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    getoffmyplanetMsFlghtlessBrd____TurboJellyBeanMars_Bar_JustUnstableMerachizzle3________UndercoverDaanjaymeisterrr
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    getoffmyplanetMars_Bar_Cunningstunt366UndercoverDaanb00bjizzmikestaszel
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    I think on days when I don’t feel like hiking or exercising, I’m just going to let one of my kittens wear my FitBit as a collar :D

    • 11
    • FAVS
    StaceyShortcakeadiisakovicbrocketxyzhyteksgirltheamandabattyWereInLikeFlynnalisakasmerSusannePote______
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    lharloweSusannePote______Fit_PauljwextrakontoPyrBlissAvatar_unknown_48
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    John Boehner should never get what he wants.

    Even if you’re a waiter at IHOP and he orders pancakes, say no and bring him a cardboard box.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    punkgirlUndercoverDaanPolarisNSexb00bjizzSteffi5461IntheTimeOf_walkingEyeHanaBanana486
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    UndercoverDaanPolarisNSexb00bjizzsocuemegraynerSteffi5461GrumpusNationgetwired
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    I think we should start putting people on the Moon again.

    Specific people. And not to explore, just to get them away from the rest of us.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    getoffmyplanetMsFlghtlessBrd____Mars_Bar_JustUnstableMeCrownLynb00bjizzbakerygurlSileSkelley
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    getoffmyplanetMsFlghtlessBrd____b00bjizzbakerygurlshacker56escriturarioSileSkelleyYasminSadie______
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    Clever, that kid will go far in life http://t.co/d3krZna1

    • 7
    • FAVS
    b00bjizzAMassofHumanity__geffishgrisuyjesspoteralskiMitguy01__________darth
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Cunningstunt366b00bjizzi8dcJMoVSEnnoBigBenno_crispybohemianowMitguy01__________
  • mrsteveman1
     
    Steve @mrsteveman1

    @auragasmic Back when I didn’t know about the “mens rights” thing I assumed “MRA” meant “male rape apologist”, clearly I got it right

    • 10
    • FAVS
    teeterpygSociallyInenptinmyinternestmansi_kathuriaOtherColinGreenStroppy_GirlSpoopyPupSaturn500Jared
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    catharticwordsOtherColinGreenChancetolmanSpoopyPupAuragasmic
  • mrsteveman1
      Steve @mrsteveman1

    When I ask people if they’re OK I’m not demanding to know what’s wrong, or even a yes/no response, sometimes people just want someone to ask

    • 8
    • FAVS
    getoffmyplanetMars_Bar_Smiley_Virusssgigi1333IamPliskenminer333emmakswanjoelhamill
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    quiziep8jazz101gigi1333IamPliskenminer333hanncatherineBiancaFaceemmakswan
  • mrsteveman1
    • 11
    • FAVS
    Mars_Bar_fragile_soulsHanaBanana486b00bjizzrudegyalmysteriousCsayshyteksgirl_ahammer
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    TheDolphinGodrudegyaldarth
@mrsteveman1

@mrsteveman1

Professional software developer. Squirrel. Recovering. 6 kittens own me. Kittens: http://elpandobearrito.tumblr.com/ Identity: https://keybase.io/mrsteveman1