So Canadians, what units do you measure time in up there, eh?

Is it just called a "kiss" in France? And just "sprouts" in Brussels? And just a "steamer" in Cleveland. Damn, I'm all inquisitive 'n shit.

I'm no master chef, but isn't 6 degrees too cold to cook bacon?

why aren't the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles named Shelly, Tucker, Heidi & Myrtle?
And why don't they hide in their shell instead of fight?

Please keep this on the DL, but I'm involved in litigation over the "Fast and the Furious" as that's my copyrighted masturbation technique.

Funny-o-rama of the week:
@girltomom
@cpabry
@ashleycrem
@_setthehook_
@tryped
@5ick5
@n0pantz
 http://favstar.fm/users/mrtruthandsoul/awarded …
#FF #FOLLOW

Multi-media I really, really, really liked this week

@nursemurderer's  http://vine.co/v/bEQiYVXKbD5 

@rhiannonarcher's  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh86DRphBeQ …

#FF

I'll put a whole bottle of butterscotch on my ice cream sundae, I just don't give a fudge.

I'm all for an eye-for-an-eye but what's the proper punishment for someone that orders pineapple on a pizza?

Relationship status: just a drinking looking for my drinqueen

#FF rear-entry position
@so_amused @taylormatronics @pjtlynch @seejaylinco @thedailyschmuck @leroytee @benjamin4501 @revenge_tanukis #FF

#FF Jurassic quarks @a_jahh @floatersfinest @bigbagofscum @5ick5 @maremeea @ruggedlymansome @rhiannonarcher @tryped @titanshomer #FF

#FF mineral writes @getcougarized @creatinsparks @5ick5 @allyballybeal @luckofthedraw86 @sfreeze6 @home_halfway @kendellmadden #FF

#FF blood of the earth @concernedsirguy @stevesackington @brownlickher @charlzero @cloelola22 @famousmike @thisalexstein @keetridley #FF

#FF cream of the crop @weissbrandon @noflipflops @ag_loco @matty_lombardo @ashleycrem @littlekitnerboy @mahatmatweeter @lisa_laughs_ #FF

#FF bend 'em like biscuits @dranoraul @jjwhales @verifiedbib @nintendom @reemurda @iwuvwaffles @lawyerthoughts @psyche2youreros #FF

#FF things that go rump in the night @shaunrightnow @cindymeakin @murphyas905 @romoforthewin @ilovelamp1979 @davethealbino @wildethingy #FF

#FF shirley you're joshing @ridiculoussheri @uncleduke1969 @kendellmadden @seejaylinco @bornmiserable @charlzero @daddyjew @heather2go #FF

#FF hour after hour @brownlickher @tpurvis06 @home_halfway @good2go013 @_stiger @nursemurderer @leahbonnema @sadperuna #FF

#FF livin in paradice @billhenry16 @drearydoug @pat_e_rock @bearslietoo @lizetagge @smelly911 @buzzrolled @thisalexstein @drhands66 #FF