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I wish I was baller
I wish I was taller
I wish my dick was longer so I didn't pee on the back of my pants when I'm going poop in the toilet
I'll pronounce the l is salmon. I'll pronounce the t in fillet. I'll pronounce the h in herbs. I don't give a phuck.
Does she use any lube when she's fucking you in the ass with a strap-on, guys that date women with short hair?
I get it, Muslim men, I get it.
If my wife had a mustache, I'd want her to cover her face in public, too.
The Sixf Sense™: I see black people
6:55 AM Spooning 101
6:57 AM The Art of Ear Nibbling
7:01 AM Advanced Fingerbanging
7:04 AM History of the South
7:06 AM 💦💦
Apparently, the expression "doo unto others" has a totally different meaning in Germany
When I said I've never been with a girl like you before, I meant fat
I got my brown star in the Boy Scouts for eating out a Brownie's ass
We gotta vote on a name for the new state named in honor of York:
1. Yorks Again
2. York Strikes Back
3. York 2.0
5. New York
"Your deep vein thrombosis is making my main vein throb"
-Senior (69+) sext
Cleavage™: the Original Booby Trap
My Indian name on the weekend is "Chief Running Errands"
Sorry I called your kid a freak when I saw that he was left-handed
But dude, they can totally fix that now with science and therapy
I've never been in cahoots with anybody, but once I got into some shenanigans with a floozy at a shindig
Imagine if KIK got hacked how much really good homemade porn from you fucking perverts there'd be?
"I don't know what I ate last night, but it ran thru me like a ton of bricks"