Improvised Shakespeare + jay z and kanye references = that shit merr-ay!

I feel awkward witnessing the prelude to a night of messy drunken sex between @tablefullofcrap and @rolliewilliams

I put my coat on the back of the chair, so the chair doesn't get cold.

I don't know if @jamesfclark is gonna need this text tomorrow, but if not, basketball.

Let's go back to the 90s and ask eachother if we were going to the DMB concert tonight.

Direct quote from guy next to me on some philosopher "it's so mindblowingly, mindblowing." deep bro, deep. #followyourdreams

English classes should start teaching how to effectively use 140 characters rather than 1200 words.

Sopa and pipa sound like fairy tale character names and less like horrible fascism if you say them in a British accent

@jamesfclark is just now realizing his NBA dream is over at 30

Took the entire #superbaby run to come up with it, but my rapper name is hennesy williams.

Mafia booth @jamesfclark and everybody! http://t.co/1tquinF

Should I feel guilty whipping out my iPhone in a goodwill? #suburbkidproblems

@jamesfclark is asreeeeeeeep and loving it! http://t.co/LVHWSbb

Spencer Bowie I perform gentle acoustic tunes that bros like @jamesfclark http://t.co/ez1yGde

@jamesfclark "what do you call em? The pictures with the words?" books? #kittysad

@nicoleconlan "this is terrible marinara sauce" @jamesfclark "this is denny's"