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Remember dot-orgs: Your mission statement is the penis of your website, so always make it lengthy and hard to grasp.
What has two thumbs, and just crushed a talk at #omtconf?
That’s right, @msteciuk!
I have the best husband in the world. Said every wife on Facebook in the world. Suspicious!
Puppy loaf is sleeping on my chest. Had to shift him off my shoulder after he farted on my ear.
@markboulton It pains me to think of the hours I’ve slaved over things that the client has then not launched. Glad to be out of that game.
Hey Yahoo! I can tell you know a good deal when you see one, so how would you like to buy my 2005 Volvo for $100,000?
"Also, I'm handier than you give me credit for."
"What do you mean? Like, handjobs?"
I asked the sign language pro at the #ixda conf how to sign, "I just shit my adult diaper." She was not amused. #denied
What those “I think I ate the bones!” people actually seem to be saying is “Oh fuck, I think I ate KFC!”.
Congratulations, little heroes! 17 HeroRATs have passed the blind test! http://on.fb.me/17zoSnq
I always figure when you go away, the plants are on their own. Suck it up or die.
"Are tacos OK for dinner? Could you eat tacos again?"
"Wow, Mama. Two stupid questions in a row."
Freaking adore this kid.
My wife also bravely had a double mastectomy and sleeps with someone as good looking as Brad Pitt (it’s the dog). http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/14/opinion/my-medical-choice.html?smid=tw-share&_r=0 …
Not quite the geek she hoped to become, but there's time still.
