Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice, giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake.

Metric is an awesome system.

Shot in the Head: The Abraham Lincoln Story

[10:56:18 PM] Jeremy says: I ACCIDENTLY A CAT [10:56:23 PM] Jeremy says: THE WHOLE CAT

"i'm about to give birth to God's son and I can't find an inn to do it! D: 2,000 years ago from txt"

"You know, the one with the boobs." -@evilteacups

Lady Madonna + Octopus's Garden = Octomom

For every FTW there is an equal and opposite FTL.

Mallory rhymes with scarecrow.

[11:40:27 PM] HaleyGX1 says: d^_^b
[11:40:40 PM] ^_^ Matt! says: how do you get the backwards d?

"I know where my phone is, I keep track of it-- OH CRAP. WHERE IS IT?!"

"fucking mexican" BEST. COMMENT. EVER.

I want Tyler's head to splode.

Milk!

¿Qué te pasa, calabaza?

DDJFAKDHF. DRAKE BELL'S PENIS, GET OFF MY DASHBOARD. I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT. MY CHILDHOOD HAS BEEN RAPED. FDJFHADF. I HATE EVERYTHING.

#yourlame if you can't tell the difference between 'you're' and 'your'

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful, and so are you.

I'd never not love you, I just want to fix whatever's direly wrong with your head.

Death is the number one killer in America.