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  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    IRCTC. India's favorite massively multiplayer online adventure game. No amount of badges elsewhere can match the feeling of accomplishment.

    • 23
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    richagovilsoubhiksbmsrikanttalok3428SanketThodgebongirrsundara007psam
    • 194
    • RETWEETS
    NisarHogayaH3atMediaankitdoshiAku4akashi_amjedaniket_nikumbnagaivilambiashwanikoul
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    “I’ll revert back.” —The Terminator, Indian edition.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    _xLNcArpitJawaHandleKiMKCbookspleaseCurryNGinparikhdeepankerPravmagaaryayush
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    vidzvsarcasmonautbookspleasearvindroxshagufta147AnirudhChauhanbhumilhariargarimella
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    The concept of reincarnation was just ancient Indian tech-support advice to “Turn it off, then back on again,” to see if it fixed things.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    VaticanCoverupThe_HappyNoodlecruisemaniacslckrqnkrazyfrogFebWinPatrakaarPopatKoquettish
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    _DesiPsychopurpleMatchkavtyasalonimunotShre_Scruisemaniac_logikgpitchuka
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    A Bangalore landlord once told me I shouldn’t potty on the roof. I imagined sicko previous tenants till it occurred to me he meant “party.”

    • 4
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    itsritishshetty_Ngnandanavettipullai
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    NiSiNGH_shreeleshSaurabhMalanivikramadhimanhg6Anish8292arjun697Kanakkupullai
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    Clever, if this is an actual ad campaign. pic.twitter.com/BF3gGYpB

    • 7
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    Dailygrinder1Aashish_kayPriyanka_lawyermeeldevSychlopsfavstar_popChromelon
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    dangertoonpitusultanenthahotnesskhyatirahul01sm_saysanshuman273NoooodleH
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    “You, complete me.” —My project, worriedly.

    • 16
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    kronosVBDailyVelli__mooodlesredzeppelin7BoyInWilderness_ketanncapt_n3m0ataraxistix
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    MinjalKadakiaAdishiGoenka_Camouflage__3PegsDownCuteassKuttishailaja1893raghuveer_vBeing_Prasanna
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    Posturbation (n): The act of "liking" something you yourself posted on Facebook. Ref: WTF?

    • 3
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    WisdomBoothajinairinkv
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    twitoutbikraminkvravihandanb42MrShristupendousonejackolPjoseph85
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    People who live in Gorilla® Glass houses can throw whatever the fuck they want.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    ThePappadWoManybharathaVelvetRhymejalemrajrohitkaufmanic
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    rekenerdmadhucmSattsgnuragmurtazzIndiekidhitAmythnessJonthanjosh
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    Every social networking site reinvents LiveJournal, imperfectly. You envisioned and created all this ten years ago, @bradfitz. Respect.

    • 5
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    WisdomBoothtiniobradfitzSenguptaskinnylatte
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    gavrikhorgathvijay750vijucatvalleydayzangiasaavyshnavimariawolters
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    You don’t arrange your wallet currency ascending-order, face-up? Bet you set your TV’s volume on a non-five multiple too, you sick bastard.

    • 10
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    LaurlaTjakeoramaheathNinjaPornstarMesmerisedMezetBITSWisdomBoothDilliBellephiero
    • 15
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    TheBillCavetimberlyflowersWisdomBoothadreeshtafavstar_poppaediatrixTheChepsterproximoron
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    A considerable part of the proverbial Indian cynicism and mistrust comes from having to look both ways even while crossing a one-way street.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    kaufmanicajinairrampotty
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    girishgapmherlerampottyishwarvhsnorahJonessana_malsrkjesalshethvinayramkumar
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    Not one Middle Easterner noticed I was greeting them with “Salma Hayek!” and “Alyssa Milano!” instead of the usual phrases, for seven years.

    • 8
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    AliaenaHulaHoopFairyajaykrishnatideirilenthahotnessvlbajinairkaufmanic
    • 15
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    paapusajaykrishnaabrownneckSt_HillBlahkumaranbanmansenthahotnessslotten
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    Twitter. Your only hope against Big Data. pic.twitter.com/DGE5boKICs

    • 6
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    bimbilikipilapiyayayarndivaShorSharaabinelsonniumaaliznatzecache
    • 16
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    rtalwaritsdemosashwat_kvijay03Trillionaireyayayarndivaappandaiscanman
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    Well, there you have it. Look deep within yourself. http://t.co/Whq25KHe

    • 8
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    its_shivuDontPluckNailsRamshaiirasanyalnayakgirinRittsrattychronozshreYaavanoObba
    • 14
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    vinuraghupathysandesh_aNipunkeshyperionfraudballerdangertoon_a_musesubfusced
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    Twitter helped me discard traditional news media, but I spend all that saved time reverse engineering headlines from jokes.

    • 5
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    KayMarvinSRQ2UYearOfRatWisdomBoothajinair
    • 17
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    gavriActiveAccountaaliznatkaufmanicYiAOrgNyOmZ_3YearOfRatilango2486
    YearOfRat
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    This “Everybody Hurts” cover by Sachal Studios Orchestra, Lahore, is beautiful, as are the performers’ faces.  http://vimeo.com/66551075  Listen.

    • 10
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    amulyashruthiGetPlaysAbhishek_RaiIndiekidhitlazygarfieldwaltzingmonkeykaufmanicNotThatMP
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    doppelhangerKishoreBhargavaAbhishek_RaiGetPlaysSachalMusictburmanprasad_gvsteviegell
  • mujib
    • 6
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    itidaraditichaubeyrohandanBharatv87VideepVKpotboilr
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  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    Everybody quiet now. http://t.co/WpApWe6H is down. I have no idea what you guys are saying.

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    krystal_deleonTheUnseenMeEvJurkwaltzingmonkeynbcornish6XBytesHappyParadox
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    SatiricalSatoriKayPretty2012nbcornishJo_BellbeMegKirkB1foxxxelyNayDeenyRadd
  • mujib
      Mujib @mujib

    There’s a thin line between gory and glory, and it’s called a lower case L.

    • 3
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    surbhimittalnileshtrivedivijayptankBestIndianTweetleohemanthbecomingGurumusabbfavstar_pop
@mujib

@mujib

Award-winning poet, lingerie model, triathlon champ. On the Twitters since 1997. [Disclaimer: Opinions are my own, not Victoria’s Secret’s. RTs = Engorgements.]