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I'm 31 years old, and I still can't figure out what the hell to do with my arms while I'm sleeping.
My daughter spelled "cupcake" as "cupkkake" and awww, I thought of you guys.
I wanted to be a stay at home mom, but then I met my kids.
The kids changed the dog's name again & didn't tell me.
ugh, now everybody in line here at the store knows I use toilet paper
Blind people are the coolest because you can pick your nose while you talk to them.
RT if you're a little bit dead inside
My husband said "happy holidays" to someone at Starbucks today, and that's why I left him there.
Today I tried to eat corn without thinking of the typewriter "ding!" sound effect when I got to the end of the row. I failed, like always.
Did America win the World Series again? How did the other countries do? USA! USA! USA!
Guys, when I get 10 stars, it's like you getting 100, so yippee for that.
I hope my husband gets me a new boyfriend for christmas
My boys are playing video games in their pillow fort. I wish they'd enjoy their childhood instead of acting like they're 23 years old
I'm going to stop using "lol" and instead say, "That was quite funny."
Call me racist but this conversation with a Mexican makes me want tacos
I spent $200 on my kids' Halloween costumes, so they better get me a lot of candy.
A journey of a thousand miles starts with-- awww, dang, I forgot my toothbrush.
I love you like old people love Werther's
Did I win anything? I was in the bathroom.
It's probably gay if you're Sugar Ray.
Not your average crazy girl. http://favstar.fm/users/musky86