"you really need to clean under your bed"

#ThingsaStalkerWouldSay

People moaning that Britain's Got Talent winners ain't british , last years winner was a dog for fuck sake !!!!

Is it just me or are mannequins getting hotter ??

It's cute when my dog licks my face, this is what I thought before I seen him licking his balls

If I worked at burger king I would demand people call me chef

Honey I abused the kids




#pedomovies

Might cut the grass next week, also I might win the lottery either way both aren't looking too promising

To all the people saying happy st paddys day let's get drinking , I say it's fucking Sunday I'll be drinking anyway ya part timer !!!!

#I #don't #mind #the #odd #hashtag , #but #fuck #off #with #them #in #every #tweet #you #look #like #a #cunt

It's dark out and av just walked down the bottom of the garden....... Av also just realised why that wrestling move is called a Clothesline

Just watching baby girl dance like a drunk giraffe , I have never seen a drunk giraffe I only assume this is what it would look like

I dont expect stars and rt's but with people getting them all the time it doesn't half make ya feel like a loser also my mum never hugged me

Some girls pants shouldn't have Juicy wrote across their arse , it should say lumpy

I always wonder what it would be like to have a history lesson if you was German
Teacher: between 1939 to 1945 we was cunts, any questions?

Me mums bought baby girl a potty and they all cheer when she sits on it, I go to use it and all hell breaks loose

Getting drunk at home on my own keeps me out of trouble

My remote is sticky.......that's not a double entendre if ya wondering

I was going to riot but I can't my mum said so #totdriot

Is this Britain's worst play area ??? pic.twitter.com/2Si39nc1GM

So I finally hooked up my internet to my ps3 , am really good at call of duty.......if respawning means you're good