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"you really need to clean under your bed"
People moaning that Britain's Got Talent winners ain't british , last years winner was a dog for fuck sake !!!!
Is it just me or are mannequins getting hotter ??
It's cute when my dog licks my face, this is what I thought before I seen him licking his balls
If I worked at burger king I would demand people call me chef
Honey I abused the kids
Might cut the grass next week, also I might win the lottery either way both aren't looking too promising
To all the people saying happy st paddys day let's get drinking , I say it's fucking Sunday I'll be drinking anyway ya part timer !!!!
#I #don't #mind #the #odd #hashtag , #but #fuck #off #with #them #in #every #tweet #you #look #like #a #cunt
It's dark out and av just walked down the bottom of the garden....... Av also just realised why that wrestling move is called a Clothesline
Just watching baby girl dance like a drunk giraffe , I have never seen a drunk giraffe I only assume this is what it would look like
I dont expect stars and rt's but with people getting them all the time it doesn't half make ya feel like a loser also my mum never hugged me
Some girls pants shouldn't have Juicy wrote across their arse , it should say lumpy
I always wonder what it would be like to have a history lesson if you was German
Teacher: between 1939 to 1945 we was cunts, any questions?
Me mums bought baby girl a potty and they all cheer when she sits on it, I go to use it and all hell breaks loose
Getting drunk at home on my own keeps me out of trouble
My remote is sticky.......that's not a double entendre if ya wondering
I was going to riot but I can't my mum said so #totdriot
So I finally hooked up my internet to my ps3 , am really good at call of duty.......if respawning means you're good
i make a living playing poker.....occasionally play......with friends........ok twice.....about 3yrs ago.......i lost