I feel dead outside.

There should be a jewish pop star named ko$ha

I am turning some heads today (in the opposite direction)!!

so do you think leo dicaprio tries to talk to blake lively about the environment

@rl_stine Which Disney princess are you attracted to?

I worked at a summer camp + a kid asked me why my hips are so big. A counselor said, "Miss Abby can have her hips as big as she wants them"

lets never let parents find out about twitter

BFFs are very important: Celebrating Bestie Day: Your BFF Checklist  http://hellogiggles.com/celebrating-bestie-day-your-bff-checklist … via @hellogiggles

after i sneeze, instead of saying "bless you" please say "thug life"

How long should you wait to work out after you eat? Like four months?

#FF Beautiful Baby Dolls (BBDs) @artfeedsmia @joryjohn @bigjonrudd @briandavey @chillgrizz @wow_paulo @rrkaplan @afbradstone

In middle school I went through a real blazer phase. I wish this was a euphemism for a cool drug... I just appreciated a form fitted jacket.

Its encouraging when I see cars with my college's vanity plate. I too could own a used Hyndai Elantra someday.

He slipped into his jorts, never to be laid again.

sorry but ive had enough of justin timberlake. we get it, youre good at everything. go enjoy your millions in private.

I'm not sure why the Spice Girls sang about convincing men to get with their friends. Seems like something most men would be down with.

Welp. My life is forever changed. I will think of the SNL Mokiki skit at least twice a day forever, I think.

When I am disappointed in myself Gordon Ramsey yells, "IT'S RAW!!!" on repeat in my inner dialogue.

In honor of the Bonnaroo festivities, here is a picture of a man I spotted licking a tree during an '09 concert. http://t.co/OUtmE7MX

If I was on the show Baggage, my baggage would be that I watch Baggage.