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Let's put Velveeta on it!
I have decided to purchase a pair of crocs.
If one person has an imaginary friend they're considered crazy, but if many people have the same imaginary friend its religion?
Ahhhhh , the power of cheese.
I have cheap health insurance. For my wife's cat scan, they made her lie down under a ceiling fan with a tabby duct taped to it.
I think I've just been cropdusted by a lady driving a motorized scooter.
I'm old school. I don't use GPS. I have a Magic Eightball stuck to my dashboard with Silly Putty.
I wonder if spiders have vaginas. There, see what I did? I did a tweet with the word vagina.Destined for Twitter stardom.
I wish life would give me limes.
Hey you guys, just so you know, not every Canadian is courteous. I know one that's kind of a dick.
God loves me. Fuck you.
It's martini time!
Thanksgiving is s cow´s favorite day.
Home Brewer, cheese maker and craft beer lover. Bourbon Imbiber. Retweeter.
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