7 Billion People on the Earth now.

I like 4 or 5 of them.

I need to borrow a witch's tittie for some weather experiments.

This beer isn't helping me clean the kitchen, at all.

I see your duck face and raise you two peace signs.

Went out for milk, came back with a parakeet. Wtf?

Time heals all wounds and Facebook rips those shits open.

I dunno. - my motto for the rest of the year.

R.I.P. rectal thermometer. Good times.

I know one of you lunatics got a tattoo of the twitter bird.

All restrooms should be twitter accessible.

I miss outdoor sex. I miss indoor sex too.

There's always that one person at work that you don't understand how the hell they got there.

I ain't sleepin. I'm O.O

Don't like my tweets? I release you from your oath.

My 3G Internet should make dialup noises.

Today wasn't a fairytale.

Every morning a little clown car pulls up in Washington and lets all the politicians out. Boopboop boo boo...

Hurricane coming. I'd better buy 20 gallons of milk.

I was having fun in 1987. Too bad I can't remember any of it.

If you talk to yourself, say hi for me.