Look ma no friends

If you love someone let them go. If you hate someone let them go. Basically let everyone go. People are stupid.

"Muslims" don't kill people. Assholes kill people.

My brain is 85% sad thoughts and 15% passwords.

Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a nice talk.

There are children in Africa who have to poop without reading tweets on their phones.

The worst is when you text someone and they text you back 2 hrs later but you already keyed their car and emailed their secrets to everyone.

I love sleep because I hate people and I'm really into dying but I also like to wake up and eat.

I'd get a lot more sleep if I didn't insist on reading the entire internet every night.

Sleep is cool because it's like a commercial for death.

Don't worry, Americans, everything will be all about you again soon.

If my mom asks, I was sleeping over at your house from 2004 to 2010.

Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?

“It is what it is.” -someone who needs to stop saying words

Sometimes with people it's like "why"

I always have a minute to watch a fat kid with a backpack running.

Hey girl did it hurt? When you fell? When I pushed you? Because you're skinnier than me?

90% of a relationship involves tolerating how fucking weird the other person is.

Ugh I completely forgot to do something with my life.

*tokyo drifts out of a conversation*