Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

If you're late for Special Ed class, is it ok for the teacher to call you "Tardy"?

They changed the name "socialism" to "for the children" circa 1997.

It takes police too long to respond to 911 calls. If I'm ever getting robbed, I'm ordering Chinese and asking them to bring a gun...

@blackrepublican @chicodelainky Republicans freed slaves and ended Jim Crow. Please read a book

84,999,987 gun owners killed no one yesterday...

The 2012 Election will be about whether the American People believe in awarding a 'participation ribbon' for the Presidency or not

It wasn't a tea tax. It was a tea penalty

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is

The Federal Government has forgotten that it was the states that established The Federal Government, not the other way around. ~Rick Perry

Thanking Obama for killing Osama is like going into McDonalds and thanking Ronald McDonald for the hamburger. Thank the cook, not the clown.

Leaders that talk down to their people are not leaders that should be looked up to

Beer is now cheaper than gas... Drink... Don't Drive...

When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist. ~Dom Helder Camara

I didn't know I was a racist until the media told me so

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber

Liberals are completely indifferent to whether the programs they advocate work or not. It's all about how they make them feel. ~John Hawkins

Israel does not need to go back to a pre-1967 border. The USA needs to go back to a pre-2009 Foreign policy

I don't really want to hear how "corporations aren't people" from people who don't believe babies are people...