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You're all a bunch of dorks.
There has never been a problem in this world that couldn't be solved with cinnamon rolls.
Currently caught between the moon and New York City. Any advice?
It's really a damn shame that the definitions of words don't never change. If only we as human beings could do something about that.
This Milwaukee's Best Light is going down about as smoothly as a virgin on her wedding night. Get it?! #oraljoke
I don't care if you're Mr. Rogers or the Dalai fucking Lama, if you piss on the public toilet seat you are a shitty, selfish person.
Apparently some #NBA guy had a totally sweet #dunk . Is it baseball season yet?
That was pretty shitty of Bob Dylan to take that Chinese kid's flute. #iwantyou
Gengrich is leading GOP polls now? You Republicans realize that "Poor kids have no work habits" is the exact opposite of America, right?
Has Mark Ruffalo ever sat up straight in his life?
Hey guys, unemployment went down! We can go back to talking about shitty tv shows and football. What, you were doing that anyway? Oh....
Thursday Night's Alright For Flossin' #eltonjohnbsides
My new least favorite thing is people bitching about "all the anti-bullying crap".
Dude, nice carpenter jorts.
This is my Twitter. There are many like it but this one is mine.