"No man, this isn't gonna be gay. Just think of it as a Brojob..."

I hope your account gets hacked by someone funnier.

What did O say to Q?

"Dude, zip up your pants."

When I see your face, there ain't a thing I would change...

Except for the direction I'm walking in.

I wrote 'justice' on my mom's grocery list.

let's see what she does.

My life is like a sitcom that keeps being renewed and it's really not funny.

Faving your own tweets is like giving yourself a high five in a mirror.. .

HELP.

I'm trapped inside an IKEA.

And they told me that I had to build the exit :(

if i didn't want to restart my computer 10 minutes ago I don't want to do it now.

STOP ASKING.

I'm sorry to say this... but... some of you guys are not so raven :(

If God had a Twitter account, I bet he would tweet and complain about losing followers too.

My roommate's room smells strongly of musk, and semen.

I need to stop jerking off in his room.

Im kinda glad to not get a lot of TOTD Trophy's here on FavStar, because I'd HATE to be forced to come up with a witty response on the spot.

"I have FEELINGS, you know! So fuck you too!" - Monday.

It's funny how people aren't.

Gay Porn in HD

crystal queer quality.

Hey, Instagram... you're telling me that taking pictures of flowers and lawn-chairs is considered deep, right?

My printer just had a very colorful orgasm over my hands.

Grand Theft Otter pic.twitter.com/ZKauGVfkUS

Well.

One of my gay friends just got an actual girlfriend.

This is the right time for someone to throw a pig into the air.