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@navanax's (Adrian Woodworth) most faved Tweets...
navanax
I think semi-colons have gotten a bad rap. They should be re-branded as super-commas.
@navanax
navanax
I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.
I do not like porn bots and spam.
I do not like your follow scam.
@navanax
navanax
It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more vodka.
@navanax
navanax
I am not bitter, I am resentful. There is a difference. One may be resentful and still taste great.
@navanax
navanax
I don't celebrate the Jewish New Year. I'm still upset about what they did to my penis.
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navanax
Yelling "Fuck this!" and storming out of the office loses some impact when you are working from home. It still feels good though.
@navanax
navanax
Some people rake leaves, others blow them. I prefer the flamethrower, its fun for the whole neighborhood.
@navanax
navanax
I made macaroni and cheese from scratch, with real cheese. It cost about $18.00. Now I can only afford the Kraft kind. I’m the Irony Chef.
@navanax
navanax
All things considered, it is more like a dick of corn than an ear of corn.
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navanax
After intensive research I have determined that there is no type of juice that a double shot of vodka doesn't improve.
@navanax
navanax
I wanted to be the voice of reason, but settled for being the murmur of excuse.
@navanax
navanax
So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn't even have to happen at all.
@navanax
navanax
Doing caffeine. The gateway drug to consciousness.
@navanax
navanax
One nice thing about not having kids is a house full of unbroken crap.
@navanax
navanax
My vegetarian friend could not understand why I brought a bottle of catsup on our hiking trip. “In case we get lost.” He’s slow. Tasty slow.
@navanax
navanax
Insanity; not just a defense, its a lifestyle too.™
@navanax
navanax
Drinking coffee, jerking off, catching up on Twitter and listening to music. It’s impressive to be this busy and still get nothing done.
@navanax
navanax
My Christmas tree looks like it was decorated with the shotgun set to 'whore'.
@navanax
navanax
One typo in Penisylvania and you're fucked.
@navanax
navanax
I've never used 'LOL' before the previous tweet. Did I do it right? Was the exclamation point superfluous? Why do I feel so dead inside?
@navanax
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