I posted a shirtless picture on instagram (#thethirst) and the first 4 likes are from dudes. This shit only happens to me.

Tebow cried, LSU tried, Te'o lied, his fake girlfriend died, ROLLLLL TIDEEEE.

Cubs and Brewers postponed on account of nobody wanting to watch that shit lol

Meanwhile, I'm not even convinced Joe knows how to construct a sentence. He's got fucking tits all in his face, and he's bitching. #catfish

Who the hell is Jesse Williams and why is he dressed like he's about to fight a bull? #Heat #Spurs

That was hands down the best crowd I have ever been apart of, and that includes Illinois/Arizona in the Elite 8. I had goosebumps. 11.

When I drove my family to the airport Sunday morning, it was 35 degrees. Two days later, it's 90 degrees. #ILLINOIS

"Suspect #1 is dead right now." Well...I don't think that one is going to change anytime soon, CNN.

I think your work will understand you being late/missing work because there's a terrorist on the loose in your neighborhood.

“@tcrabtree83: Get Wolf Blitzer off air. He just asked a witness if he was planning on running the Boston Marathon in next year.” WOOOW lol

You know Kaner is like 8 beers deep in the locker room right now. #blackhawks

@ji711 @louuhler @lcm1986 @jamfan40 RT @arthurarkush: Deji Karim has come out of nowhere to have himself a massive game for the #Colts.

I just slid through 2 people's legs on the dance floor. Never done the before.

See what happens when you let people from Kentucky drink on a weeknight?

#FF @rach2461 @mrs_vozart @jdrentz @ali__renee @ji711 @hawksobsessed @wordofmoen @travishalm @lcm1986 @kkinnett @goodluckgriff @louuhler

Where is everybody smack talking LeBron 20 minutes ago? #idiots

Hey @amandabynes you can't call people ugly, because...well....you used to be hot but you made yourself ugly. #stillwould

The #Reds are one of two teams in baseball with a winning percentage of .600 or higher. #FireEverybody

I love when I get hit on at work lol

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SCORE