Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 235
Followers: 1,317
Favs Given: 3
Favs Rec'd: 2,981
@ncguk's most faved Tweets...
ncguk
Oh God, I've just seen something from someone else's point of view. It was horrible. I'm never doing that again.
@ncguk
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TymethiefKingBobulousIIIToy_AFitzrightreverendrossfactualfictionlonesomeaviarykambrockqaroFussySaffanae2shabby
ncguk
Today is also being a pisswanking fucknudger, a cockhammering turdburton, and a jizzhumping shitwang. Arselanterns.
@ncguk
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geospiza_fortisFitzrightiamnotdiddyafoolishwitAn_Irish_BritreverendrosskambrockFussySaffanae2shabbyThoughtSnot
ncguk
The record for most profanity in a film is held by 1982's 'Pissfaced Supercunt' starring Wankjackie Shitsock and Fucking Bernard Fucksticks.
@ncguk
8
MDuettecarrozoFitzrightrejectermatthewdillcravenheartFlashmaggieglobetrottgirl
ncguk
In the future, nanonanabots will knit breakfast cereal at a pace beyond the comprehension of today's full sized fleshy nanas.
@ncguk
8
TymethieflonesomeaviaryafoolishwitFitzrightmartasaurus_rexkambrockreverendrossnae2shabby
ncguk
Tits almighty, a minor problem with our printer has escalated into a saga of deceit, bureaucracy and incompetence.
@ncguk
8
MDuetteToy_AFitzrightlonesomeaviarykambrockFussySaffareverendrossnae2shabby
ncguk
Today is occurring without my express written or verbal consent.
@ncguk
8
FitzrightiamnotdiddysshrpeRose_DarlinglonesomeaviarykambrockFussySaffanae2shabby
ncguk
UPDATE: having destroyed Twitter, Bono's cock has now wrapped itself around the Empire State Building and is shooting at fighter jets.
@ncguk
8
TymethiefToy_AafoolishwitFitzrightreverendrosskambrockFussySaffanae2shabby
ncguk
Dear God, I hope you've kept the receipt for this week, because it's a total fucking lemon.
@ncguk
8
Toy_Ageospiza_fortisafoolishwitFitzrightfactualfictionlonesomeaviarykambrocknae2shabby
ncguk
It's Friday the 13th, a special day where I play to the fears of superstitious people by killing them with an axe.
@ncguk
7
mightymousecarrozoreverendrossyancitotwoeyesFitzrightdaviegardner
ncguk
Pope fact: it is illegal to tell the Pope to get fucked; you must say "Get thee to a fuckery".
@ncguk
7
TymethiefPunkRockiecarrozoPetherwinrazorwittedJamesA_BrownFitzright
ncguk
I'm not hungover, I've merely been coated in a thin layer of death.
@ncguk
7
FitzrightThaozillaMDuettecarrozovanesKishaFergusonnae2shabby
ncguk
There is an entire compartment in your car dedicated to gloves.
@ncguk
7
FitzrighthecticjeffAn_Irish_Britlonesomeaviarykambrockqaroreverendross
ncguk
BREAKING NEWS: Jordan's vagina has been cordoned off after it ate 15 premiership footballers in a nightclub in Coventry.
@ncguk
7
FitzrightToy_AcravenheartPetherwinlonesomeaviarykambrocknae2shabby
ncguk
Privately the world's top astronomers refer to the Universe by its real name, Stephanie. #factday
@ncguk
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MDuettericardogreeneThoughtSnotdonniTo_The_MoonFitzright
ncguk
A large mug of obsequiousness to everyone who's mentioned me in their follow Fridays. You touch me like a bad priest.
@ncguk
6
carrozonae2shabbyPetherwinMDuettemahalisFitzright
ncguk
Today is International Xenophobia Day.
@ncguk
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FitzrightFussySaffaPetherwinMDuettedavetube555A_Peabody
ncguk
CS Lewis died in 1963. He was found hanging in a wardrobe, his cock bitten off by a lion.
@ncguk
6
UncleDynamiteimaginaryreviewPetherwinOxpyreagankFitzright
ncguk
In the first draft of Bram Stoker's famous novel, the vampire character was named Bitey O'Noshchops.
@ncguk
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MDuetteToy_AtammyphinneyDoanDoDatreverendrossFitzright
ncguk
Watching 'Question Time' is like watching a man with enthusiastic diarrhoea try to shit into an egg cup while riding a unicycle.
@ncguk
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Tymethiefgeospiza_fortislonesomeaviaryFitzrightkambrockreverendross
ncguk
The best idea I ever had for a kids TV show was 'Ask The Asphalt Ass Arse', in which children sought advice from a magic tarmac donkey butt.
@ncguk
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FitzrightMDuetteMrWordsWorthurbanprojectzTrinalouise1