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They're going to take Twitter away from us if this is what we keep doing with it
Davis is going to be on that trillion dollar coin
I am the Olive Guardian… you must defeat me in combat if you wish to obtain unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks
Whose job is it to pet all the neighborhood dogs so they don't get sad... I can do that job
Eatin' straight-up pickle slices out the jar. Line forms to the right, ladies
They have found him, the Sk8er Boi foretold by prophecy
It's a pan pizza… and this time, it's personal
girl did u used to be a baby because i think that's really inspiring. u used to be a baby and now ur a strong independent woman
Ugh dang I'm stupid ugh #dang
Schwarzenegger kicks in the door to the illegal dog club. "All dogs go to heaven," he says, raising a rocket launcher. "Right now."
Help Me, Maury! I'm Sleepy!
Dear ex girlfriends. I have a real alive Pegasus. You made the wrong decision
I am a cartoonist. To answer your question, yes I know Garfield