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Can one of you video game experts help me out? I can't get past level 5 in TurboTax
David Bowie once killed a grizzly with nothing but his bare hands and glitter #MadeUpFacts
Dear nutjobs, please stop making a big deal about Chaz Bono. I don't want to watch DWTS, but I will, just to spite you. So cut it out
Ok, #Supermoon, I've done everything that you've asked. When does Cthulhu arrive?
I saw a zombie do the robot
I'm very bitter about this whole "Awake" situation
John Wayne's World #worstwesternsever
Twitter is turning me into a narcissist that demands his every thought must be heard. Please RT
Just saw a couple of guys carrying a pane of glass down the street. A high speed car chase is inevitable. Glad I closed my fruit stand
I had a crush on Daryl Hannah as a replicant and a mermaid, but never playing a human. Is that weird?
We cannot afford both a war in Syria and a war on Christmas
I am a key demographic!
Inspired by The Hobbit, Prometheus will be re-released as a trilogy: the original film, an explanation, and an apology
Plans for this evening: Go to the store, eat dinner, fight crime
You're not the boss of me, electronic scoreboard. I'll clap when I feel like clapping
The Empire Leaves a Nasty Comment #cantbebotheredfilms
I considered instituting a Swear Jar at work, but the prices for these shitty jars are fucking ridiculous