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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I’ve decided it’s better than getting a boob job.
best thing about being a woman is never having to turn into a sad middle aged man.
I wanted to return to twitter because I have time to kill but then I remembered you're all here.
beer can't survive me.
One shot at life and an amazing planet to explore yet millions choose this.
I have a feeling I'll have a closed casket funeral. If there's anything left of me after my final stunt.
I don't call it OCD; I call it perfection.
My parents sentenced me to death.
Don't really care for clubs, I'd rather dance in a forest.
i want for someone to have the same effect on me as my favorite record does.
A woman's heart is just as dumb as a guy's dick.
Women rarely commit murder because it’s much more satisfying to slowly drive a man insane.
My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I can’t love her back. It’s nice when problems resolve themselves.
The key to happiness is probably lost in my bag as well
You got any weed? - Me, to a cigarette
We sure put up with a lot of bullshit to avoid dying alone
Violence. Pass on it.
If all you want is for me to be happy then you’ll never be happy again.