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Baby sitting is fucking horrible I can't even smoke out of my bong without my niece asking why I'm kissing a flower vase.
I'm genuinely concerned that no one will ever fall in love with me
When i start to feel confident I remember how I've played entire games of Mario Kart watching the wrong screen then I hate myself again.
When a guy flirts with me I start blushing uncontrollably and I hide. Then I wait for them outside their house wearing a wedding dress.
Cum on her forehead and whisper "simba"
He can google any boobs, so feel special when he wants to see YOUR boobs.
That was deep.
To wear or to not wear a bra that is the question
A hooker but that just gives hugs.
I just burped smoke if anyone wants to fuck a dragon.
You can respect your body and feel good about it and share it with whomever you wish and still have respect.
Pussy: because a man has to eat.
That's no moon, that's a space station!
Never stick your dick in crazy.
I just counted using my fingers. How am I supposed to make serious life decisions?!
I like to keep my glasses on for the ride if they fog up and come off you are doing me right.
If she stops mid blow job to say "look ma no hands" and puts her hands in the air, she's a keeper.
You can always tell which girls are really into the butt stuff.
I'm going to get stupid cupid drunk tonight.
There's a special place in hell for me, because I've already RSVP'd.
When I wake up the first thing I tell myself is that I'm a badass bitch from hell and no one can fuck with me or ruin my day. It works.
I can lick my toe, what can you do? Instagram: nerdsrockk