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Sometimes you need to burn bridges just to make sure you never return.
I speak fluid awkwardness.
Never underestimate the power of Gatorade after a night of drinking.
And for my next trick, I'll take these twelve beers and make a mess of my life.
People who wear socks with sandals like to add a degree of difficulty to getting laid.
Waking up next to a half eaten taco leads me to conclude that drunk me didn't stick to our diet.
Fifty Shades of Grey Goose sounds way more interesting to me.
Coffee is my knight in shinning armor.
Coffee is my knight in shining armor.
All aboard the struggle bus. I'm driving.
I feel like I'm living in an episode of the twilight zone. What the fuck is happening?
Someone should bottle tears and sell them as makeup remover.
Folgers has it all wrong. The best part of waking up, is going back to sleep.
Snow, snow, go away. Come again... never.
If anyone wants to know where my social life went, ask my wallet.
Seduce me with your taste in music.
Music enthusiast. Horror film addict. Philosopher. Humorist by nature. Sarcastic by design. I see the (wine) glass always full.