There's something so sexy about a man with a job.

If I ever have another boy I'll name him Pubert just so I can have a good laugh for the rest of his life.

Hate people who are loosey-goosey with their feelings! Dude, bottle that shit inside until you explode like a normal person.

Instead of blaming the male population for my relationship woes I'm going to be innovative & original & take the blame for my own bullshit.

The minute I know a guy lives out of town and can NEVER possibly have a relationship with me, I'm totally into him. I'm SO predictably crazy

I just love cartoons. I don't give a shit if I'm an "adult" per say. I think being older makes me a toon aficionado.

Having good sex does not mean love, but being in love often means good sex.

I'm so 2-faced that more than once this year I've mixed up who I was texting & found myself bitching to someone about themselves on accident

If it feels wrong then it probably is!

Oh, you're going to med school 30,000 miles away for 4 years? I can make you love me.

Why the is right choice always the hardest?

Friend of mine on facebook says she needs a boyfriend to be "for-filled". I bet you do, darlin'!

I am such a good parent in public.

Don't be a douche to your girlfriend, guys... Unless you're really, really good in bed. Cause then you'll probably get away with it.

Love going through my contacts after a REALLY drunk night. I acquired new bffs like "Cat Man", "Dirty Donny" and "Retarded Ryan With an R".

Relationship status: didn't shave my legs all winter.

So I'm always making boyfriend jokes, but I don't actually have a boyfriend. I have a puppy named "Boyfriend".

Learned that one of my friends had to be committed to the state nut house. Now I feel she's more qualified to be my friend.

My cat ate my Cocoa Puffs while I was checking the mail. Why does everything in my life have to be weird?

Sick of people who say I don't tell them enough how I feel about them. Well, if you'd shut up and pay attention you'd see I'm SHOWING you.