@nevincrain's (Nevin Crain) most faved Tweets...
Would like to re-open the discussion that concluded “drinking is not the answer.” I believe new evidence shows it’s the only answer.
Noticed that 80% of my stars are from women. Thanks ladies. Dudes if you don’t start giving out stars I’m going to start dating your sister.
My ex wife was a dirty fighter but unlike Mike Tyson she would never bite your ear off. Nope, she wants you to hear every word.
Yes I’m being inspiration today. I’m way too hung over to be funny. For funny check back after I find my pants and the owner of this goat.
Yes step mother by my star count it does appear I have no talent. By the way how are your sons, still in Jail?
If work finds performance enhancing drugs in my drug test do you think I will get a raise, maybe a nice performance bonus?
You know getting my laundry done did not give me the feeling of fulfillment I was expecting. Maybe a Grey Goose and something will…
Apparently Miami Beach is taking over for Vegas as the fake breast capital of the World. Not that I noticed, I mean I was there for work.
I’m watching Jurassic Park and this angry T-Rex sure reminds me of my ex-wife. I sure miss the fangs and the screams of the innocent.
Promotional consideration for tonight brought to you by an overload of Norepinephrine & Dopamine. Good Times.
Sunday to-do list; Item 1) Make to do list. Item 2) Take nap. I think that's enough overachieving for the day.
Was on the road. If I change lanes then she changes lanes then me then her then me then her. That’s 4play right?
If the voices in my head were my personal board of directors I'd fire them all for being incompetent & massive inappropriate behavior.
My stepmother thinks I need to find a woman more like her. So now I'm looking for an alcoholic, chain smoker that tells me how much I suck.
