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  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    My inner voice is giving me the silent treatment.

    • 126
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rTDeeRockTyEroslaurascazLilDisruptiveRidiculousSheriginasays43swisherr_tweet
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    TyErosCatherineinALaries0169AngelaEhhCudjoeKeyDaveMsBrosskevnastoTracyC215
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    I love following someone that does not follow back. Makes me feel like I’m still married.

    • 110
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rTyErosRidiculousShericloudcmswisherr_tweet78SUZThe_MartiniGirlCatherineinAL
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    78SUZredsbasementloribiancaB3nBautistadiANAtiffANYTarArsBoolBarreSmileSamoreCatherineinAL
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Noticed that 80% of my stars are from women. Thanks ladies. Dudes if you don’t start giving out stars I’m going to start dating your sister.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rTyEroslaurascazRidiculousSheriginasays43RedheadedTrampcloudcmswisherr_tweet
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    SanamTheLambZombie_dave24favstar50AngelaEhhBobFoxx214Gamilielllovemydogduck
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Ok Twitter I am finding it difficult to get any work done with you lurking over my shoulder.

    • 68
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rTDeeRockTyEroslaurascazRidiculousSheriCatherineinALAngelaEhhZenGunn
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    MasterOfFuryfavstar50Mrs_CunninghammBobFoxx214
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Would like to re-open the discussion that concluded “drinking is not the answer.” I believe new evidence shows it’s the only answer.

    • 58
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rlaurascazRedheadedTrampcloudcmswisherr_tweetshadowkissed420CatherineinALSnegurothka
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    KirstyLJ86OptimusHerbfavstar50carmencakeshotAngelaEhhZenGunnFathom_thisfoxybox
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Ok who stole my baseball bat? How can I be expected to motivate people without a bat?

    • 56
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rTyEroslaurascazRidiculousSheriRedheadedTrampswisherr_tweetCatherineinALAngelaEhh
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    favstar50MasterOfFury
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    The sound of my wife making me a drink in the other room is extremely sexy.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rshadowkissed420laurascazRidiculousShericloudcmswisherr_tweetCatherineinALAngelaEhh
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    TarzanFeatherslovemydogduckjokqsYoungYojimboTheDisco_Spiderhmcpherson17joseejojojoSkippingthelite
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    My ex wife was a dirty fighter but unlike Mike Tyson she would never bite your ear off. Nope, she wants you to hear every word.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    TyEroslaurascazRidiculousSheriswisherr_tweetshadowkissed420CatherineinALgreyeyes66cgrdrjoe
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    keegancurtiscgrdrjoeAngelaEhh
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Yes I’m being inspiration today. I’m way too hung over to be funny. For funny check back after I find my pants and the owner of this goat.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rlaurascazRidiculousShericloudcmswisherr_tweetCatherineinALAngelaEhhZenGunn
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Lil_Sassy_Me
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Yes step mother by my star count it does appear I have no talent. By the way how are your sons, still in Jail?

    • 46
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rlaurascazRidiculousShericloudcmswisherr_tweetCatherineinALAngelaEhhZenGunn
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Before marriage
    Me: I'm horny
    Wife: Do me from behind.
    After marriage
    Me: I'm horny
    Wife: Do the dishes & we can talk

    • 36
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rTDeeRocklaurascazRidiculousShericloudcmswisherr_tweetshadowkissed420comedyfish
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    crystal36chrisTarArsBoolBarreAngelaEhhCrissieCBobFoxx214chagger73lishybeeTarzanFeathers
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Your voice annoys the hell out of me but your breasts have my attention.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rlaurascazRidiculousSheriRedheadedTrampcloudcmswisherr_tweetshadowkissed420CatherineinAL
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    shadowkissed420Fathom_this
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Sunday to-do list; Item 1) Make to do list. Item 2) Take nap. I think that's enough overachieving for the day.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rSmartticismslaurascazRidiculousSheriginasays43RedheadedTrampcloudcmswisherr_tweet
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Lealoneloveshadowkissed420ginasays43
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Was on the road. If I change lanes then she changes lanes then me then her then me then her. That’s 4play right?

    • 39
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rlaurascazginasays43swisherr_tweetCatherineinALAngelaEhhZenGunnFathom_this
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    chrisdpreachersMasterOfFury
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    If work finds performance enhancing drugs in my drug test do you think I will get a raise, maybe a nice performance bonus?

    • 37
    • FAVS
    EtherealDream3rRidiculousSheriRedheadedTrampAngelaEhhZenGunnFathom_thisMsBrossTracyC215
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Apparently Miami Beach is taking over for Vegas as the fake breast capital of the World. Not that I noticed, I mean I was there for work.

    • 32
    • FAVS
    ginasays43AngelaEhhZenGunnFathom_thisMsBrossTracyC215MasterOfFuryUnlucky_Ninja
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    I’m watching Jurassic Park and this angry T-Rex sure reminds me of my ex-wife. I sure miss the fangs and the screams of the innocent.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    laurascazcloudcmswisherr_tweetZenGunnFathom_thisMsBrossUnlucky_NinjaSaucy_Mom
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    laurascaz
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    You know getting my laundry done did not give me the feeling of fulfillment I was expecting. Maybe a Grey Goose and something will…

    • 31
    • FAVS
    ginasays43shadowkissed420AngelaEhhZenGunnFathom_thisMsBrossMasterOfFuryMrs_Cunninghamm
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    If the voices in my head were my personal board of directors I'd fire them all for being incompetent & massive inappropriate behavior.

    • 29
    • FAVS
    laurascazZenGunnFathom_thisMsBrossTracyC215Unlucky_NinjaMasterOfFuryMrs_Cunninghamm
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Cryptic_Writing
  • nevincrain
      Nevin Crain @nevincrain

    Promotional consideration for tonight brought to you by an overload of Norepinephrine & Dopamine. Good Times.

    • 28
    • FAVS
    laurascazRedheadedTrampcloudcmZenGunnFathom_thisMsBrossMasterOfFurylovemydogduck
@nevincrain

@nevincrain

On the verge of (please fill in the blank.)