i wish my dog could tell me stuff she wanted to because I bet her ideas are a hundred times better than mine

how has gluten been around for so long and we're all still alive?

coming out in full support of @justinbieber's #boyfriend video. gold shoes, sick black guitar, it's almost as dope as @thatrygood

Who's ready for @justinbieber to kick off the new season of Punk'd this Thursday? Heard @thatrygood gets looooose right off the bat. #Punkd

sundays are the perfect day to start getting super nervous about monday

@mileycyrus is actually a very old Yiddish woman. Fact.

I just want to lie back in bed, close my eyes, and find myself waking up to another chance.

@mileycyrus is having a celebration for @aplusk tonight. go ak go!

@mileycyrus not creepy if it's reciprocated.

happy bday to the wonderful @mileycyrus. ur the best muffin

Girls. Stop with the selfies. Please. #sodesperate

@fucktyler - this is PHENOMENAL http://t.co/nBLt49dE

Early to bed, early to rise ensures a healthy, dull demise.

I wish someone would steal my identity. They'd probably know what to do with it.

I am IN! is she not being sick? @cheynethomas @mileycyrus

@mileycyrus found it. Right in my bag. U have been wrongfully accused and I apologize profusely.

@mileycyrus I'm following you.

check out the great work of the @mileycyrus and @moonfrye and pledge! http://t.co/M6dv0hKe

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police

@mileycyrus that can be arranged! Tattoo time.