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i wish my dog could tell me stuff she wanted to because I bet her ideas are a hundred times better than mine
how has gluten been around for so long and we're all still alive?
sundays are the perfect day to start getting super nervous about monday
I just want to lie back in bed, close my eyes, and find myself waking up to another chance.
Early to bed, early to rise ensures a healthy, dull demise.
I wish someone would steal my identity. They'd probably know what to do with it.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police