Favorite guy at the debate. http://t.co/5mZ2Kc4X

If you are reading this you are likely hiding in the bathroom or straight up ignoring your family and friends. #happythanksgiving

Tim Tebow is by far the most viable Republican presidential candidate right now.

Makes sense that Tim Tebow believes in God since every time he completes a pass it's a miracle.

THE LEAGUE premieres tonite at 1030pm on FX. If you RT I will post nude pictures...

Hey @twitter & @instagram pls reach agreement where I can see instagram pics in tweets. It's like a bday party where parents are divorced.

Congrats, eli manning, you goddam super bowl MVP mouth breathing dummy.

I think "The Most Interesting Man in the World" is also likely "The Worst Father in the World".

Guys! #KrollShow has been picked up for Season 2! Thx to all for watching!  http://dlvr.it/2ssrSc 

Nick Cannon will host the apocalypse.

DOLPHINATELY

Hello. @theleaguefx has been picked up for a 5th season and Jeff Goldblum returns as my dad on tonights finale eps. Thank you.

Plain M&MS can suck a dick.

I'm very uncomfortable w/ Peyton Manning calling Papa John "Papa".

Ladies and gentlemen, the academy would like to recognize one of everything! #oscars pic.twitter.com/xjoPrCyjj7

Mr @pattonoswalt wrote something very thoughtful about Boston.  http://m.facebook.com/pattonoswalt/posts/10151440800582655 …

Guys. They just made an announcement. They had replacement ref running the power grid.

I wanna open a store called "headphones, printer cartridges & adobe file updater" just so I can burn it to the ground.

#MyReplyToiLoveYou: new phone, who dis?

Looks like @katyperry has a new #pubLIZity team. #krollshowS2 pic.twitter.com/uPmbs31nca