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My daughter, sitting in the back seat of my car, enjoying some Doritos & a root beer, held both up at one point & said,"Relationship goals!"
True pain is watching someone be younger and more successful than you
I'm eating a steak with my hands which is badass in the time zone I'm in and utterly disgusting in yours.
RT if you've hung out with me at the Chateau Marmont. FAV if you hope to some day.
I'm a couple weeks late to this amazing @mindykaling piece called Why John Can't Write For TV: Coming This Fall http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/08/10/coming-this-fall …
today i feel bad for our friends in high finance and wall street who make obscene amounts of money while adding no value
Made waffles for bkfast & I'm not high but I just had a stoner moment of "Dude, we're pouring tree sap on our food!"
Waze is good. It just had me drive across a lawn, through a house, yell out "dinner's ready," go up a slide, onto a trampoline and... home.
Hi, I'm DC Pierson, and if you're anything like me, you have no idea where in this parking structure your car is
Banksy here! Welcome to Dismaland! Our Mickey Mouse is named Corporation Mouse! Fantasia is actually BADtasia! We still got turkey legs tho.
Some Best Dance Crew show's shooting @ Warner Bros so there's all these lil troops of similarly-dressed hip hop ragamuffins around. I ❤️ it!
all I want to do before I die is correctly guess a stranger's Wi-Fi password
when is it ok to unfollow caitlin jenner
I'm not positive I've ever heard anyone order a Sprite at a sit down restaurant.
Hope everybody had a fun day online
#ADULTBEGINNERS in theaters, itunes and VOD April 24th, #KROLLSHOW, Ruxin on THE LEAGUE on FXX, nickkroll on instagram
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