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"w/ all due respect yr excellency…eat my shorts." *gulps entire glass of wine, swings down frm chandelier firing lasergun in all directions*
hoping my old age is just me randomly twisting knobs on an oscilloscope in a fake laboratory while porn actors make coitus behind me
had my 1st authentic zombie dream this morning, complete w/ D&D references & video game puzzle solving. next comes my 1st noctural emission
@meliescomic dope tweeting doesn't come from here *points to your knee* it comes from here *points to side of your neck*
Dude, you're into repetitive melodic phrasing? I LOVE repetitive melodic phrasing!
it puts the lotion on the _LOTION RACK_ 'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE LOTION GOES THAT'S WHY I BOUGHT IT CHRIST DENISE IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN LISTEN
if you look at a diagram of my brain there's a whole chunk in the mid-rear labeled "Molly Ringwald" and that's where the tumor will appear
Homer and Garfield face off in a donut and lasagna eating contest. the winner becomes king of Toyland. The loser will be hung from gallows
get up. get on up. transmit business documents via PTSN line at 400 scan lines per inch. like a fax machine.
IWATA CONFIRMS WII U WILL SCAN OWNER'S SOUL FOR PURITY, PLAY MIDI OF SHANIA TWAIN'S YOU'RE STILL THE ONE OVER IMG OF YOSHIS WATCHING SUNSET
I hope UPS brings my #tigerblood t-shirt & my #macarena dancing robotic Santa Claus doll tomorrow. endorphins ain't gonna release themselves
just talked a guy through connecting to hotel wifi over the phone and it was like we were defusing a bomb together
let's face it, the first nudist president will probably be a disappointing centrist
Gumby rides away on a motorcycle made of Tinkertoys, flipping the bird back at you
yeah I'm in a gang, it's called the Super Kid Gang and if there's one thing we hate it's people hurtin their bodies with tobacco on our turf
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