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There are teenagers having unprotected sex, but have cases on their phones. Just let that sink in for a moment...
A relationship without trust is like a phone with no service.
What do you do with a phone with no service?
You play games.
Facebook asks me what I'm thinking. Twitter asks me what I'm doing. Foursquare asks me where I am. Conclusion: the internet is my boyfriend
A mom is tidying her son's bedroom & finds a stack of S&M magazines. She asks her husband what to do.
He says, "DO NOT FUCKING SPANK HIM!"
The most awkward place to run into a homeless person is on your way to a Coinstar machine.
Why is it that in girl tampons commercials they're always laughing and dancing? Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws & burning crap down?
Google launches 'Inactive Account Manager' to deal with your data when you die http://fb.me/1xNxDNXik
I just scrolled so far back on Facebook's Timeline it logged me back onto MySpace.
Man being interviewed on TV about Boston bombers forgot to hide his huge pink dildo. http://fb.me/HkbyPwWe
Jinkx Monsoon has more Facebook likes than any of the other contestants this season. #TeamJinkx http://fb.me/sIB4jPbo
Rawr RT @devinmossxxx: Nsfw over 18 only. I was horny in my room in New Orleans. pic.twitter.com/Xxqgde9t
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
If you think you're having a bad day, just remember, someone is gonna have Snooki as their mom.
My boss told me, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” I’m now sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my batman costume
HD porn is so clear that you can actually see how disappointed their parents are
My life is a novel...I'm sure you will see the next chapters play out here...Me? I'm gay, into technology, & live life to the fullest.
