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Recurring 'Arrested Development' gags mapped in painstaking detail http://www.theverge.com/2013/5/16/4336032/arrested-development-infographic-recurring-developments …
*lays war plan on table*
*pours glass of whiskey*
Step 1: Find the lost Dragon Ball
I'm hesitant to tell people I like Japanese things because they think that means Tentacle Porn when it just means good soup and fast trains.
People on the Paleo diet forget that Paleo men were pretty much malnourished 24/7 and would’ve killed for a bag of Sour Patch Kids.
The problem isn’t dumb people, it’s smart people who are so afraid of looking dumb they never attempt to accomplish anything of value.
A mixtape where the first 8 tracks are “100,000 Fireflies” and the last two are me singing the Spider-Man theme and “Ignition (Remix)”
Soulmates are such a white person thing.
I feel like I’m a guy who’s one bad breakup or Arby’s Roast Beef sandwich away from devoting his life to playing Ms. Pac-Man.
Everybody becomes more tolerable when you read your own backlog of tweets.
Bought a megaphone the other day, I’m seeing quite the boon for my sex life in the future.
The episode “Aisle 8A” of King of The Hill is quite possibly the best television ever made.
I got a B for being sympathetic to the Mexicans on a report about the Alamo it was then I knew grades had little to do with intelligence
A sign of maturity is realizing sometimes a girl just doesn’t like you. Another is being able to unwrap a starburst with your tongue.
Does Nick have enough paper towels to dry himself after realizing he doesn’t own a towel? The answer in five character defining minutes.
God gives you the beard that you deserve not the one you want
Speaking imminent storms on the East Coast, whatever happened to Sandy Slippen?
I’m also handing out Pokemon cards as rewards, because I don’t have any idea how to lead a platoon.
I saw it on iTV the other week
I name all my electronics after characters from Seven Samurai, if you were looking for a specific reason for me to keep my pants on.