If you must have a website with 'infinite scroll' probably best not to have links people may need to click on at the bottom of the page.

Let's all just listen to the Gipsy Kings and ignore all the bad people, okay?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WdyyLC4Xgs …

The train manager announced our next stop as 'stunning Stoke-On-Trent'. Tourette's man said 'bellend'. He's saying what we're ALL THINKING.

The train manager keeps saying 'Laandan' in a fake accent. A man on the train has Tourette's shouted 'fucking dickhead' at his announcement.

The following tweet is a totally true description of what is happening on the that train I'm on.

Lorraine Kelly is so sincere/insincere. pic.twitter.com/y3D1uRwF3H

@popjustice The Laser Wind Tunnel of Finalists MUST RETURN.

'I'm furious that Microsoft are forcing me at gunpoint to buy a new entertainment device that does too many things'

I enjoy the potted history of Mr Blobby's career in showbusiness at the end of that @john_self

@adebradley Look what it did to those tearaways from Skins.

The printer's making a noise that sounds like the end of Karma Police.

Best touch tone song is of course '1-4-7-1 / 1-4-7-1 / 2-5-8-2 / 2-5-8-2' which, as first noticed by my brother, is Frontin by Pharrell.

'9-0-2-0-3' on a touch tone phone sounds a bit like the 'Scooby dooby doo' bit of The New Scooby Doo Mysteries theme song.

@chris_mandle I knew you were joking but I still googled that just in case. After the Shoreditch 'Goat Race' anything is possible.

Oh my good lord what are we going to do about THIS?  http://youtu.be/RBruaC6wdGw 

@example There are no 'tasty English restaurants'.

@darkbeige I drank a whole bottle of Cherry Lambrini on Bonfire Night 2011 and it made me giggle and want to listen to Heart. Dark times.

The news bulletin that directly follows Eurovision is always like the worst chucking out time at a nightclub.

Ireland, this is what happens when you don't send Jedward. #eurovision

*Books ticket to Sweden* #eurovision