"Where we live, shouldn't determine whether we live." #Kony2012

#ifiwereapet, I'd sleep and eat all the time. ........Oh wait, I do that anyway.

Cake mix tastes so much better than the actual cake.

Perfect doesn't exist.

"Aww, phoebs." .."Honey, that's your name." "That's short for Phoebe?! I thought that's just what we call each other."

I wish the UK appreciated country music as much as America.

Dougies sleeve just makes him that bit more hot.

I don't care about #blackops.

I wish all these porn people, with "I like to fuck!" as their bio would stop following me. #creeps

#cartoonsiwillneverforget: rugrats. best cartoon ever.

Police breathalizing people on escourt road, be careful guys!

I'm surrounded by people I love, but I've never felt so lonely.

If he asked me that question about David Beckham, I'd suggest a threesome. #takemeout.

Inbetweeners has to be one of the most quotable programmes.

Holy cow, she's 16? She looks about 30. #TheVoice

People tweeting "Michael Jackson died at 58, Whitney Houston at 48, blah blah Bieber being 18" Just to get RTs? Michael Jackson died at 50.

I've watched the news more in the past two days, than I've ever done in my life. This is saying something.

One day, I will create a mechanical cheese cutter. For the unfortunate people, like myself, who struggle to cut cheese.

It's called a mullet, business in the front, a party in the back!

FIX.FIX.FIX.FIX.FIX.FIX.FIX.FIX.FIX. #xfactor.