Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
In Australia, 'Capital Punishment' is being forced to live in Canberra.
pretty sure one time i said something like 'IT'S NOT ME GORENG, IT'S US GORENG' then pashed someone,in case ya wondering how i get the dudez
lambs are so cute especially with bbq sauce
Parking inspector told me to validate my parking ticket, so I said to it 'parking ticket, you are beautiful'. still got fined.
PUTTING ON OVEN MITTENS AND SIDLING AROUND THE HOUSE LIKE A CRAB IS THE ONLY THING I LOOK FORWARD TO MOST WHEN BAKING BAKED GOODS
dear supporters of the theory that if women get pregnant from a rape it is god's will, if I kick you in the dick, that is also god's will.
seriously if you guys don't star me more often, i'm going to track down each of you individually and moon you
Today is R U OK day, because Generation Y won't respond to mental illness awareness campaigns unless the title is in 'text speak'.
ok guys, all the spots fr next tuesday are filled!
I'm not running late for work, I'm jogging late for work! (The latter apparently has health benefits!)
Dearest people who always say 'there's an app for that'. Please stop. There's a slap for that.
There are white people working at Mad Mex and I have yet to hear a mad mexican complain that we are stealing their jobs.
Horses are the only thing which can truly unite little girls & drunk old gambling men,which, let's be honest, is not really a healthy union
'Gay people shouldn't be allowed December 31st, because it's New Year's Eve NOT New Year's Steve.' - homophobes
Dropped oreo crumbs all over my phone & while I licked them off the touch screen loged me out of FB cos that behavior doesnt deserve friends
GUYS! Melbourne people! Friends! Family! Aliens! I'm doing this! Please come! Tomorrow! Exclamation mark! http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2013/season/shows/fanfiction-comedy …
I'm so addicted to Japanese porn that sometimes i wear other people's glasses during sex so that our genitals look blurry.
Thought Speed was gonna be about drugs really depressed cause it was about some bus or whateva thanks a bunch sandra bullfrog.
Hullo I'm Nina! I'm a stand up comic and writer from Sydney. I am a pretty ok person except for that 1 time I got drunk and stole money from a wishing fountain.