Have had an awful feeling recently that something really bad is going to happen to me - like death or another relationship

Chelsea beat Barcelona and Newcastle are ahead of Chelsea in the league tonight so ipso facto Newcastle are better than Barcelona

I've tripped over more wet floor signs than I have slipped on wet floors.

The Tourist is a bigger let down than the first hand job I got off a chick

@limey27 @simonjplumb @dcon_85 @molliluann @jeanvandooms @baztastic77 - this should be @limey27 new profile picture pic.twitter.com/oZOZlGtCBo

@dcon_85 @simonjplumb @limey27 - seven players playing twice but Nicky Shorey is my captain #worstdecisionEVER

Having just had a gluten free wrap I can only assume gluten is absolutely delicious

I'm pretty sure every love song ever written was about Moussa Sissoko #nufc

@molliluann @jeanvandooms @simonjplumb @dcon_85 @stathamazing one thing you'll learn about twitter is @limey27 banter is absolutely horrific

No surprise to see I made the list. No surprise that Vegas bound @dcon_85 made it too! pic.twitter.com/EaMfVmbxqM

@simonjplumb @stathamazing @gtwukusa @limey27 - Enjoy - Suitable for Facebook @dcon_85 ?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBTgHDptsc0&feature=youtu.be …

Howay Newcastle!

Bring Major League Soccer to Orlando! Sign the petition by clicking here: http://bit.ly/ZERhFV  #OrlandoBelievesInMLS  http://orlandobelievesinmls.com/?page_id=80 

People in Britain already hate Mitt Romney! Proud to be British! #AmericanBorat

Great season. Proud. No shame in getting beat here. Hope St. James's give them the ovation they deserve #nufc

Great 1st set by Great Britain's Andy Murray... But the Scotsman Murray has been poor ever since #murray #nadal

If Jesus does come back this weekend the wisemen will need to pick up Guns, Oil & an MTV reality TV Crew as gifts to help him out

Moneycorp? RT @dcon_85: @jeanvandooms nice one! Need all the help we can get

Learning to cook is fun with ....  http://thugkitchen.com/ 

@molliluann two @limey27 zero... It's so one sided its not even fair @simonjplumb @dcon_85