My thoughts are way funnier in my head...

I have way too many lesbian moments for a straight girl.

I want to be the internet for Halloween

I swim like a rock.

Quick! I need 3 more people knowledgeable in the realm of sarcasm so we can make the "Sarcastic Four"

Looking for love is like picking fly shit from pepper.

The internet basically ruined my life.

Please don't unfollow me :'( twitter is all I have. I'm desperate.

Procrastinating is like wearing your bra to bed... it's a nuisance but you're too lazy to change.

I need a "Caution: PMS in progress" t-shirt.

I'm just a brown girl tryna be a white girl tryna be a black girl

It's funny how Twitter is one of the most private things I have.

Time to burn things... oh wait, i mean cook dinner ;)

I love being able to drive with no hands now. It makes it so much easier to tweet.

There should be an I-can't-post-it-publicly option for relationship statuses on facebook #desiproblems

My mom caught me on twitter last night. With the amount of trouble I'm in now, i might as well have been caught watching porn.

I officially have 6 twitter crushes... If you were wondering about my current love life.

Imaginary Friend: Hey, Nadina... Why are you wearing 5 bras at once?
Me: I just wanted to know what being Power Girl felt like.

BOOBS

You stupid son of a bitch, twitter for blackberry. I wasn't finished that tweet.