People who protect their tweets put me in the mind of those kids who, as a child, wouldn't let you in their clubhouse.

With 19 kids, I don't think we need a tv special to tell us how the Duggars keep their romance alive. I think it's apparent.

Good news: I am not suffering from any disease that lists "unintended weight loss" as a symptom. #fb

Waitress, shot of Everclear, please. Yes, that's my mother-in-law.

Sitting in the car with Chuck, behind a mall, motor running, listening to AC/DC. It's a lot like us in high school except I'm not naked.

Let there be peace on Earth & let it begin with my kids getting their asses in bed & being quiet.

It's a wonder to me why mothers of teens aren't just lying in the streets in a drunken stupor. 5 more years of this??

Which one of us is going to step up & tell these Occupy people, "It's not working. Also, bathe." ?

I think someone is following me who doesn't claim to possess teeth whitening powers. WOW!

Only thing relieving my pain is to raise both arms above my head. Makes me look conspicuous anywhere people are not doing the wave. #fb

This guy is staring at me at this stoplight like he's never seen anyone turn the Pringles can up & drink the crumbs. #fb

Sometimes I cry that I brought my children into a world where people use the term "awesome sauce". #fb

Recording my husband eating this baked potato w/ chips & cheese dip beside me would be enough proof I deserve 1/2 of everything. #fb

@ellopoppet Was that you she was just going off to? LOL

Amen, PLEASE! RT @therustedchain: Ladies over 30, can we agree to stop using adorbs, whatevs, totes, and rad? Thanks.

@ellopoppet I'm sure Ryder is.

A serious blog post but something people have been asking for. Nope, not my phone #. Camera advice.  http://tinyurl.com/agxzdfb 

@msdunbar @lrfcsean The man walked for miles AND fed you fish??? He's JESUS!

An Open Letter to Hugh McDonald, CEO of Entergy Arkansas...  http://wp.me/p233k6-5N  via @noelle1969 #entergy

Death to anyone who uses the non-word "adorbs". I have an extreme aversion to shortening perfectly good words. Especially if over 16. #fb