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  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    During sex you burn as many calories as running 5 miles. Who the fuck runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?

    • 1,454
    • FAVS
    bellicosejasonStacyA600ApostasyPandaVanilla_cupcaknimmmyHiddenFragmentOnceJaydeMsSmythe68
    • 883
    • RETWEETS
    Vanilla_cupcakAnonymousInZAHiddenFragmentNoNeedToKnow29iloveskyrim71blondeinside999Violent2Dope304JackieluvsUK
    AlongCameAnjaLifesGoodThinggrownassedwoman__jnrbtsn__________
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    I just found an iPhone app that makes my face look fat. It's called "camera"

    • 1,133
    • FAVS
    bellicosejason123HopesterDearAbbySimonHiJCPNone4MeThanxStacyA600jdariosjuniorGeorgestark6900
    • 687
    • RETWEETS
    NealDebraoGeorgestark6900southernsweet_1MentalDV8Vanilla_cupcakpostWegFiFyfebj2079
    NervousJr_Lindiscretion____
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Who the Fuck is this Moderation that everyone keeps telling me to drink with?

    • 891
    • FAVS
    bellicosejasonHiJCPDoneEffedUpsandythecheekVanilla_cupcakdapluskOnceJaydeiloveskyrim71
    • 590
    • RETWEETS
    DisneyFanNJStacyA600Vanilla_cupcakMaverickGamesblondeinside999JackieluvsUKitshotterherewendysredryon
    angelina_mxoxo
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    To the woman with the screaming kids in Walmart: If you're wondering how the condoms got in your cart....You're welcome

    • 804
    • FAVS
    DreamweaselCamdengirl49StacyA600zinks41lucy_nyholm123darlingshelly723JackBogeyitshotterhere
    • 483
    • RETWEETS
    StacyA600darlingshelly723JackBogeyitshotterherewendysredryonbrainsdocthorjeremy50142OSassy_B1onde
    goodersuk74______Simlatosimmy
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    I'm not on Twitter for Stars, I'm here because saying this shit out loud to myself would just be weird and awkward

    • 729
    • FAVS
    DearAbbySimonStacyA600toyotaman1988TwistedCrazzy3JackBogeyitshotterhereotakuhomepagewendysredryon
    • 427
    • RETWEETS
    StacyA600TwistedCrazzy3JackBogeyitshotterherewendysredryonts_rosiecatha_MARTI_avexroid
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Pop Tarts aren't "tart" at all. Don't even get me started on Sea Horses

    • 610
    • FAVS
    FunnyDoctorManMsTinaJadeDoneEffedUpStacyA600JessMineo3JackBogeywendysredryon1Happytwit
    • 360
    • RETWEETS
    DearAbbySimonFunnyDoctorManDoneEffedUpStacyA6003JackBogeywendysredryon4ScoreN20Bowlsthorjeremy501
    LaBelleMae
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Ladies: sometimes you just need a hug


    In the vagina



    With a penis

    • 561
    • FAVS
    StacyA600th_purpl_lady3JackBogeywendysredryon1Happytwitandyfwhitethorjeremy501DharmaPolarBear
    • 271
    • RETWEETS
    3JackBogeywendysredryonthorjeremy501DharmaPolarBeardomsproperty42OSassy_B1ondeNot_So_Cool_GrlHaRdY804
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    It's not hard to make a name for yourself on Twitter

    (it's in the settings)

    • 482
    • FAVS
    StacyA600sandythecheekVanilla_cupcak3JackBogeywendysredryon1Happytwitandyfwhitethorjeremy501
    • 252
    • RETWEETS
    Vanilla_cupcakwendysredryonthorjeremy501depravedmermaid42OSassy_B1ondeNiall_Gaffvexroidestrangedbummer
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    This morning sex would be a lot better if it wasn't just me

    • 469
    • FAVS
    SDPlissken1StacyA6003JackBogeywendysredryon1HappytwitBladesJRjrthorjeremy501dashenellaf
    • 244
    • RETWEETS
    3JackBogeywendysredryonBladesJRjrthorjeremy50142OSassy_B1ondeMiniwheats2012HaRdY804Joshua_Klaassen
    UrFavAsianGuy
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!

    • 465
    • FAVS
    onefunnyguyApostasyPandaVanilla_cupcak3JackBogeywendysredryon1HappytwitSarcasmicfiendthorjeremy501
    • 240
    • RETWEETS
    Vanilla_cupcakwendysredryonthorjeremy501buhsbaby_babyBitchFromPnw42OSassy_B1ondetiReynardwingsimplied
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Your level of hotness is in your tweets. Not your AVI

    • 390
    • FAVS
    oneofajillian123HopesterCamo_ScrubsHollyNrsVanilla_cupcak3JackBogeywendysredryon1Happytwit
    • 215
    • RETWEETS
    HollyNrsVanilla_cupcakwendysredryonSingBubleMrSandeepPvexroid2happyrightthorjeremy501
    SomthinBoutSara
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Failure is just another word for experience

    • 359
    • FAVS
    wendysredryon1Happytwitbacon_gillepic_M1N1vexroidthorjeremy50142OSassy_B1ondeSSourblondie
    • 193
    • RETWEETS
    wendysredryonvexroidthorjeremy501DCLOVESJLkandyleesloanNeuronicismMishyMshMiniwheats2012
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    I strive to be the person that my kids already think I am

    • 322
    • FAVS
    123HopesterHollyNrsVanilla_cupcakfreedom2726th_purpl_ladytborges113JackBogeywendysredryon
    • 176
    • RETWEETS
    HollyNrsVanilla_cupcakLipLush1th_purpl_ladytborges113JackBogeywendysredryonKristinaWasiura
    SassyTexasGal
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    The Star and RT buttons are right next to each other you lazy fuckers!

    • 297
    • FAVS
    tborges113JackBogeywendysredryon1HappytwitJacobSnakeholethtawkwrdmmentvexroidthorjeremy501
    • 149
    • RETWEETS
    tborges113JackBogeywendysredryonvexroidthorjeremy50142OSassy_B1ondeHaRdY804lildandeli0n
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    What the fuck? Twitter isn't a dating site?

    • 275
    • FAVS
    wendysredryon1HappytwitLotusKittyBearPeachesMcPeachthorjeremy501redpawn342OSassy_B1ondeSSourblondie
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    NikondtonyNahiryaAprilwendysredryonLotusKittyBearthorjeremy50142OSassy_B1ondeHaRdY804Girl_Censored
    SufficientCharmVonBrutal________
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Look dude: if I'm checking out your woman, then take that shit as a compliment. Il buy you a beer and you can tell me how she likes to fuck

    • 259
    • FAVS
    3JackBogeywendysredryon1HappytwitLotusKittyBearMiss_Kris85thorjeremy501redpawn3Hikage42
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    wendysredryonthorjeremy501xmissmarilynxelizak__she_nutt42OSassy_B1ondeHaRdY804ryan5551
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    She's a complicated masterpiece. Respect that.

    • 195
    • FAVS
    StacyA600JUSTLisandrawendysredryon1HappytwitLotusKittyBearBeCoco77K_peacevexroid
    • 133
    • RETWEETS
    StacyA600wendysredryonK_peacevexroidthorjeremy501AnaThema4ualternyaaphroxmissmarilynx
    McKnightyBooSherBoBer__
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Women don't know what they want

    Men don't know what they have

    • 181
    • FAVS
    sandythecheekSuperroistolleRandomchkkVanilla_cupcakmsandrearayidiosityRedHotMess31LaarsaTulip
    • 127
    • RETWEETS
    RandomchkkVanilla_cupcakmsandrearaymohamudmohamudRedHotMess313JackBogeywendysredryonakram_S500
    thebadjennMcKnightyBoo
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    I don't get people. I mean I got socks for Xmas once, but I never get people.

    • 217
    • FAVS
    BlindDefSlimVanilla_cupcakLipLush1wendysredryon1HappytwitLotusKittyBearmaggiewhatsbrianbowman73
    • 83
    • RETWEETS
    Vanilla_cupcakwendysredryonvexroidjspires76LazyOldCoworkerthorjeremy501z_seventyfiveNot_So_Cool_Grl
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Best Relationships
    -In the same room
    -doing our own thing
    -don't have to talk to each other
    -still couldn't love each other more

    • 147
    • FAVS
    StacyA600LipLush13JackBogeyChristinaxDawnCaitlinNucloNC9HunteronKROCKwendysredryon1Happytwit
    • 97
    • RETWEETS
    StacyA600HunteronKROCKwendysredryonjintanavexroidthorjeremy501HaRdY804ryan5551
    canadasandraLeroyTee__________
@nolifecoach

@nolifecoach
Pro

I save old people from coyotes. BFF: @AlexandriaSweet

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