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  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    During sex you burn as many calories as running 5 miles. Who the fuck runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?

    • 1,422
    • FAVS
    Harbinger_one1mm_manMambonista4ScoreN20BowlsTinydancer1961neller2727420SassyBlondegaleforcewhims
    • 864
    • RETWEETS
    4ScoreN20BowlsTinydancer1961neller2727JASchneider204420SassyBlondegaleforcewhimsthugfruitOutOnTheMoors
    AlongCameAnjaLifesGoodThinggrownassedwoman__jnrbtsn__________
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    I just found an iPhone app that makes my face look fat. It's called "camera"

    • 1,084
    • FAVS
    Harbinger_oneRagnor009JJG_77Johny_boy22HeSlimedMeRayvexroidchelliet22SohnsTed
    • 658
    • RETWEETS
    _amythJJG_77Johny_boy22vexroidArtIsMyPornUnPerfectMomthorjeremy501dustytoast
    NervousJr_Lindiscretion____
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Who the Fuck is this Moderation that everyone keeps telling me to drink with?

    • 862
    • FAVS
    shawnbrazziel76UnPerfectMomandyfwhitethorjeremy501cindylouwho76224ScoreN20Bowls420SassyBlondegaleforcewhims
    • 573
    • RETWEETS
    UnPerfectMomthorjeremy5014ScoreN20BowlsgaleforcewhimsscramdrunksweetsomthingOutOnTheMoorsKaJaL9
    angelina_mxoxo
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    To the woman with the screaming kids in Walmart: If you're wondering how the condoms got in your cart....You're welcome

    • 794
    • FAVS
    nikki_lew_brainsdocandyfwhitethorjeremy501redpawn3420SassyBlondegaleforcewhimssweetsomthing
    • 478
    • RETWEETS
    brainsdocthorjeremy501420SassyBlondegaleforcewhimsSWAGswervinOutOnTheMoors26d5022b2d71492depravedmermaid
    goodersuk74______Simlatosimmy
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    I'm not on Twitter for Stars, I'm here because saying this shit out loud to myself would just be weird and awkward

    • 720
    • FAVS
    WestofCrazyRagnor009I_amYrGPSha_MARTI_aMohr_rosesvexroid2happyrightPamsta67
    • 422
    • RETWEETS
    ts_rosiecatha_MARTI_avexroidPamsta67UnPerfectMombrainsdocthorjeremy501mannymental
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Pop Tarts aren't "tart" at all. Don't even get me started on Sea Horses

    • 602
    • FAVS
    4ScoreN20Bowlsandyfwhitethorjeremy501farmchicmultipervbitch_o_maticslimpickins_EeyoreYYC
    • 354
    • RETWEETS
    4ScoreN20Bowlsthorjeremy501farmchicmultipervASweetTweetRoseHeSlimedMeRayvexroidoutasync66
    LaBelleMae
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Ladies: sometimes you just need a hug


    In the vagina



    With a penis

    • 556
    • FAVS
    andyfwhitethorjeremy501DharmaPolarBearchaosinc13domspropertydashenellaf420SassyBlondeSSourblondie
    • 269
    • RETWEETS
    thorjeremy501DharmaPolarBeardomsproperty420SassyBlondeNot_So_Cool_GrlHaRdY804MHS_TheKillernientiqui
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    It's not hard to make a name for yourself on Twitter

    (it's in the settings)

    • 476
    • FAVS
    andyfwhitethorjeremy501xmissmarilynx420SassyBlondeSSourblondieNiall_Gaffvexroidtanialunreal
    • 250
    • RETWEETS
    thorjeremy501depravedmermaid420SassyBlondeNiall_GaffvexroidestrangedbummerFateOfCastiel23_freckles
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    This morning sex would be a lot better if it wasn't just me

    • 464
    • FAVS
    BladesJRjrthorjeremy501dashenellafColonelVoodoodepravedmermaid420SassyBlondesweetanndwild23_freckles
    • 242
    • RETWEETS
    BladesJRjrthorjeremy501420SassyBlondeMiniwheats2012HaRdY804Joshua_KlaassencheyboppGuido_rockstar
    UrFavAsianGuy
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!

    • 459
    • FAVS
    Sarcasmicfiendthorjeremy501buhsbaby_babyAgingAss420SassyBlondeSSourblondieHaRdY804fuckesake__
    • 238
    • RETWEETS
    thorjeremy501buhsbaby_babyBitchFromPnw420SassyBlondetiReynardwingsimpliedWeird_RashGirl_Censored
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Your level of hotness is in your tweets. Not your AVI

    • 380
    • FAVS
    Humor_Fetish2happyrightthorjeremy501domspropertychaosinc13kimberleyleland420SassyBlondeFineThingsNLife
    • 209
    • RETWEETS
    2happyrightthorjeremy501alternyaaphrodomsproperty420SassyBlondeTheLegGuyestrangedbummerNeuronicism
    SomthinBoutSara
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Failure is just another word for experience

    • 354
    • FAVS
    thorjeremy501420SassyBlondeSSourblondietanialunrealDCLOVESJLkrazchiklisa422513Alexandrarevious
    • 191
    • RETWEETS
    thorjeremy501DCLOVESJLkandyleesloanNeuronicismMishyMshMiniwheats2012somaarsholovemyboots111
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    I strive to be the person that my kids already think I am

    • 300
    • FAVS
    charrrllaaI_amYrGPSMohr_rosesBrokeBaldvexroidthorjeremy501redpawn3pattttrick44
    • 159
    • RETWEETS
    ManicMousevexroidthorjeremy501pattttrick44420SassyBlondeHaRdY804thejuug08little_sass
    SassyTexasGal
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    The Star and RT buttons are right next to each other you lazy fuckers!

    • 290
    • FAVS
    thorjeremy501redpawn3420SassyBlondetanialunrealHaRdY804lildandeli0n67orbustMayULive307
    • 145
    • RETWEETS
    thorjeremy501420SassyBlondeHaRdY804lildandeli0nKelly_SkeletonOrWasItTouchemonsieurShortyStacked
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    What the fuck? Twitter isn't a dating site?

    • 272
    • FAVS
    PeachesMcPeachthorjeremy501redpawn3420SassyBlondeSSourblondietanialunrealHaRdY804ryan5551
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    thorjeremy501420SassyBlondeHaRdY804Girl_CensoreddrayzzeShortyStackedKristinAndrene_NTFG_
    SufficientCharmVonBrutal________
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Look dude: if I'm checking out your woman, then take that shit as a compliment. Il buy you a beer and you can tell me how she likes to fuck

    • 255
    • FAVS
    Miss_Kris85thorjeremy501redpawn3Hikage42chaosinc13dashenellafJimSonOfGregshe_nutt
    • 90
    • RETWEETS
    thorjeremy501xmissmarilynxelizak__she_nutt420SassyBlondeHaRdY804ryan5551Girl_Censored
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    She's a complicated masterpiece. Respect that.

    • 190
    • FAVS
    K_peacevexroidthorjeremy501natex1022stereovision78QueenofThrace2tsmile909420SassyBlonde
    • 131
    • RETWEETS
    K_peacevexroidthorjeremy501AnaThema4ualternyaaphroxmissmarilynxkaenic_kimberleyleland
    McKnightyBooSherBoBer__
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    I don't get people. I mean I got socks for Xmas once, but I never get people.

    • 208
    • FAVS
    Sarcasmicfiendjspires76LazyOldCoworkerthorjeremy501420SassyBlondeSSourblondietanialunrealMountainRaptor
    • 80
    • RETWEETS
    jspires76LazyOldCoworkerthorjeremy501z_seventyfiveNot_So_Cool_GrlHaRdY804OrWasItMandaPie1981
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Women don't know what they want

    Men don't know what they have

    • 156
    • FAVS
    FeatheredFreyjaNikkiRuiz_mummyto3xxvexroidPuchynatorIn_Twittalandthorjeremy501JadedLotus808
    • 116
    • RETWEETS
    FeatheredFreyjavexroidPuchynatorIn_Twittalandthorjeremy501lordgreybush48tiandra_andraarifmonline
    thebadjennMcKnightyBoo
  • nolifecoach
      The One @nolifecoach

    Best Relationships
    -In the same room
    -doing our own thing
    -don't have to talk to each other
    -still couldn't love each other more

    • 135
    • FAVS
    andyfwhite2happyrightthorjeremy501420SassyBlondeSSourblondietanialunrealHaRdY804ryan5551
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    thorjeremy501HaRdY804ryan5551nira_xooReem_MangoudSou247DinaMohamed95DinaZafer
    canadasandraLeroyTee__________
@nolifecoach

@nolifecoach
Pro

I save old people from coyotes. BFF: @AlexandriaSweet

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