Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Where do you set the over/under on times Sarah Palin's ghost tweeter sticks a revolver in their mouth and tickles the trigger a day?
I always have my dick on the zeitgeist of the nation.
You can tell your grandchildren you were witnesses to the perfect storm of comedy that was foursquare jokes about deposed world leaders.
I'm not a prostitute. I just put my dick behind a paywall.
Time magazine didn't have to name Mark Zuckerberg the person of the year, but let's just say they didn't want to come out as trannies on FB.
Twitter is the land of low-hanging fruit. You'd think Jay Leno would be more popular on here.
NFL centers watch the draft to see if their team picks a quarterback/ new guy who will be touching their taint a lot.
BRB, asking celebrities for a retweet for my kid who has cancer (I don't have a kid) and/or my relative serving in the military.
Every time the phrase "indie supergroup" is uttered a baby is stillborn.
I've tasted a lot of fish farts in my life.
People who seem to be on a schedule as to when they take craps: Announcing "It's dump:30!" is not the classiest move. Funny, though.
You unclog one drain & suddenly it's raining blow jobs. #boomshakalaka
Normally I wouldn't mind it raining all day, but I had made plans to stomp the yard.
I peed in a trough tonight. What the hell did you do?
I should never go to a foreign country. I'm still in love with the Italian woman from the movie The American.
I do as the song "Live Like You Were Dying" says. I curse my loved ones for the lack of emotional intimacy & pump myself full of morphine.
April Tool's Day. Boosh.
Doctor asked if my wife was allergic to anything. I blurted out "cooking & cleaning!" Professional ethics prevented our high five.
When the summer was over and I went back to college I understood how Van Gogh cut off his earlobe & Hemingway committed suicide. We binged.
I'm a No Limit Soldier. I thought someone would have told you by now. The opinions expressed aren't mine but those of my employer.