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If Woman is Complaining in the Woods, and there is No One around to Hear Her, Does She Finally Shut Up?
Want: One Million Dollars
Offer: Your Loved Ones; Safe and Sound
Unfollowing on Twitter should Be More like a Hostage Negotiation.
"If You Unfollow Me, I'm Unfollowing You and the Guy Next to You..."
"I'm Not a Hipster, I'm Just Broke!"
- Regular Guy My Age Buying Pabst Blue Ribbon
Now that the Ex-Fiancé and I are Broken Up, I Can't WAIT for Her to Ask Me, "Do These Jeans Make Me Look Fat?"
Waiting for the Weed Guy is the Most Impatient Waiting There is...
"Can't Wait for My Balls to Drop So I Can Tap these Tweens!"
- Justin Bieber, Probably
I Asked Ex-Fiancé if People on Facebook Crack Jokes about Twitter at all. She Said "Facebook isn't So Much about Jokes..."
Of Course, I Blame TweetDeck and NOT My Own Idiocy...
There Needs to be a Hotline for People to Call when They are about to Create a Facebook Account.
Many Lives could Be Saved...
Obviously I'm Kidding!
I Love it when People Complain about Stars.
It Reminds Me that Other People use Favstar!
"While My Guitar Gets a Little Choked Up"
How Can We View this Alleged "Do Not Star" List?
Because I Will Star the HELL Out of Those Kids.
You Can't Have One Night Stands in a Small Town.
Unless You LIKE Every Grocery Store Trip to Be a Russian Roulette of Awkwardness...
I'd Still Need Multiple Save Slots to Get the Best Ending.
Dammit, I Saw the Typo Just a Second Too Late...
Ex-Fiancé tried Rubbing My Newly Shaved Head.
Was Swatting like a Mosquito was Bothering Me the Proper Response?
I Want to Modify 'Sims 3' so that Instead of Hitting "WooHoo" to Have Sex, You Push a Button that Says "Hit That!"
An Enigma, Wrapped in a Riddle, Wrapped in a Vest.