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i thought you were leading the end child abuse campaign “@aplusk: How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste”
We need to stop blaming society's problems on things like movies, video games & even guns. Let's focus on the real problem: Rihanna.
Fuck. My work didn't approve bereavement time for Kim Jong Il's funeral :(
Calling someone a hipster is just a nice way of telling them they look homeless and smell like garbage.
If i was a porn star my name would be long john snow and at the end of every scene i would scream "winter is cummin!"
This anarchist cookbook is wack. Everything I've made tastes like shit.
Thanks to #SharkWeek i have learned that the ocean is salty due to the tears of misunderstood sharks that just want to cuddle.
Coworkers didn't believe NAMBLA is a real organization. After proving it, I am now known as the guy knows way too much about NAMBLA.
"I will fight you" ~ me to a 9 year old girl trying to cut the line in Noahs Bagels