Q. what did Johnny from The Room get on his exams in college? A. oh, high marks

"if you think THAT'S an Ottoman Empire you should see my living room!" -- joke I'm gonna make in a history class once I buy 100 footstools

if you wear a Guy Fawkes mask to a protest you deserve to get beaten with a riot baton for thinking 4chan is cool

"call the BuzzFeed chief," Sgt. EW WTF said. the GIF was no longer moving, dead pixels everywhere. "we're gonna need our Top 25 Men on this"

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just googled "funny cat pics".

"N-words in Paris"? wow. fucked up. can't believe they'd name a song something white people can't say

I MADE A LIST OF THINGS THAT AREN’T FUNNY & IT’S JUST UR NAME OVER & OVER AGAIN AND THEN AT THE BOTTOM IT SAYS “NOT FARTS”

where's the death certificate, Obama

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE REPLACED MY EMOTIONS WITH HASHTAGS #regretful

I do so much sex it's offensive! that's why they call me the Sex Offendewait no

somebody said 12/12/12 is a great day for the tumblr apocalypse and I said "just as the Myspace calendar predicted". nailed it. NAILED IT. N

Rihanna is cute and cool with a fun personality and a massive forehead upon which the fears and hopes of America's youth are writ large

IN ENGLAND THEY CALL HER PAULA STONESTONE

"please--call me Will. 'Mr. Steal Yo Girl' was my father."

Andrew Breitbart faked his death so he can go undercover and try to shut down the NAACP. plot of my screenplay but also true

phone vibrated; thought I was getting a text but it was just the low battery notification--a potent metaphor for my social life #technology

British addict does a queue of coke

time to play Advertising Agency or Kpop Group! 1. TVXQ. 2. JWT. 3. Rapp. 4. KARA. 5. SHINee. 6. R/CG. 7. SNSD. 8. BBDO.

the Unheimlich Maneuver, in which you toss a piece of food into someone's mouth with terrifying precision, choking them

anyone else on here a future corpse? wanna studiously avoid talking about it?