GIRL LOOK AT THAT BODY of work you've had published. you are very prolific. i'd love to discuss your thesis over drinks some night

how to subtly pick the ice cream that fell into your boobs out of your boobs: the sparkles cameron story

party fowl (it's a turkey with a cool hat on)

im happ (◡‿◡✿)

fance magic fance

remember when i used to be able to have thoughts without broadcasting them publicly #nope #thatwasneverathing

i've successfully tired a bowtie while drunk and i'll never achieve a greater goal in my entire life

with tumblr being down and all, i guess i could finally get something at least psuedo-productive done, but instead i think i'm going to nap

sgt pepper's lonely solipsist club band

at least 3/4 of my education comes from discovering something and being pretty sure that i could make a great joke if i knew more about it

waiter, which shitty wine w a cute label would you recommend to pair w a profound/ever-growing sense of despair & a fried egg sandwich

"we'll find our exact twins in germany--" "like in how i met your mother?" "uhhh like in the LIZZIE MCGUIRE MOVIE, excuse me..."

THE TRUE CURSE OF THE TIME LORDS IS HOW SAD THEY MAKE YOU

my eyes are sober as hell but my cheekbones are having difficulties concentrating

i just wanna pretend i'm one of those people who always instagram their perfect fancy nails http://t.co/YewHi1Bw

hotel i'm at has a free wine and cheese hour. someone is just pouring me wine in a lobby whenever i want it. i'm home

SEASONABLY APPROPRIATE TEMPERATURES ARE BULLSHIT

i'm tweeting like this because i thought "vmas" was something about christmas that was related to v for vendetta, but apparently not

what would you all do if i just suddenly started using all of my web accounts solely to post sugar ray lyrics?

EVERY MORNING THERE'S A HALO HANGING FROM THE CORNER OF MY GIRLFRIEND'S FOUR-POST BED