Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
sir please do not use your new iPad as a ouija board b/c 1.) you will summon the spirits of the restless dead and 2.) it voids your warranty
"follow me on twitter because every couple of days i tell a funny joke" what else do you tweet "oh literally all of my thoughts"
Jerry Seinfeld heaves a rolled up carpet over the side of the bridge. "What's the DEAL with snitches?" he says, and laughs darkly.
LADIES: call me calculus because i seem complex and annoying at first, but once get to know me im even less likable #heyladies
dear whoever reads this: i love you
oh, sweetie, don't go near that man. he tweets a lot.
"where am i? is this hell?"Jose Canseco steps out from behind a stalagmite. "Welcome to my domain, Hater."he smiles as his arms turn to bats
Say Goodnight ~> browse twitter forever ~> birds are singing ~> oops
RT if you're still jenny from the block
sometimes i think about how seriously some people take Life and i shiver
plans for today:
stoners: if you don't smoke a bunch of weed tomorrow, then the terrorists have won
"drinking is bad, feelings are worse"
"RT if the defendant is not guilty, fav if he is" justice in the year 20XX
sometimes i do robotics, sometimes i tell jokes, sometimes i smoke weed; mostly, i breathe // this account is not run by me :) // av by @carolinemeleedy