Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
sir please do not use your new iPad as a ouija board b/c 1.) you will summon the spirits of the restless dead and 2.) it voids your warranty
"follow me on twitter because every couple of days i tell a funny joke" what else do you tweet "oh literally all of my thoughts"
Jerry Seinfeld heaves a rolled up carpet over the side of the bridge. "What's the DEAL with snitches?" he says, and laughs darkly.
LADIES: call me calculus because i seem complex and annoying at first, but once get to know me im even less likable #heyladies
dear whoever reads this: i love you
If I had shrooms right now I would do them purely out of boredom and that is why I think I have unhealthy drug opinions
oh, sweetie, don't go near that man. he tweets a lot.
"where am i? is this hell?"Jose Canseco steps out from behind a stalagmite. "Welcome to my domain, Hater."he smiles as his arms turn to bats
Say Goodnight ~> browse twitter forever ~> birds are singing ~> oops
*starts to comment on someone's political facebook status*
wait a second...i can just Not. whew do i feel better now
RT if you're still jenny from the block
sometimes i think about how seriously some people take Life and i shiver
plans for today:
a girl i know just tweeted "fuck all guys" and without context that has two meanings that are total opposites. neato
strictly unprofessionally speaking // av by @carolinemeleedy // IG: nug_hugs