A million people walk into a bar in Silicon Valley. None of them buy anything. The bar is declared a great success.

Just dropped my laptop onto my face in bed. Conclusion: the MacBook Air 11” is *much* lighter than the MacBook Pro 13”.

why the hell didn't I ever think of this? http://twitpic.com/1acsds (via @tmbo)

OH: “It’s Unix, I know this.”

It’s always better when the bug is your fault. Sure, humble pie isn’t the most delicious, but at least you can see the code you’re fixing.

@neiltyson: I like to rub out the y, “For our protection” is far more appropriate. Only the owner of the sign gets any benefit.

Atherton’s police blotter: a summary of 0th world problems.  http://imgur.com/a/aNPaI 

Ask not for whom the @pbowden trolls. He trolls for thee.

A person isn't who they are when they're drunk, or how they treat others; it's how they react when the world falls apart around them.

via @tmbo, why I always use the serial (Oxford, Harvard) comma: http://t.co/L47e9tE8

Always reassuring to know that it’s not just software that works like this. pic.twitter.com/qhLeWzNoMH

You are now signed into Twitter(R) in 2 locations. To sign off the other location(s), reply to this message with the number 1.

Don't wait until your friend's funeral to tell them you care.

The greatest relationship is a partnership. A partner has your back, looks out for you, and knows they don't have to ask the same in return.

in my country, this is how we welcome you back from vacation. http://t.co/BfzvThx

[scroller] dog http://i.imgur.com/Sb0Bl.jpg (grab your Kleenex)

Guess who has an emoji keyboard and hasn’t packed for his flight yet?

↖ This guy.

Almost made it to 11:00 without getting caremad.

When I start wondering how to refer to a block from within itself, it's time to step back from the keyboard.

Is it wrong to hate a certain race?

Because I really hate NASCAR.