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A million people walk into a bar in Silicon Valley. None of them buy anything. The bar is declared a great success.
Just dropped my laptop onto my face in bed. Conclusion: the MacBook Air 11” is *much* lighter than the MacBook Pro 13”.
OH: “It’s Unix, I know this.”
It’s always better when the bug is your fault. Sure, humble pie isn’t the most delicious, but at least you can see the code you’re fixing.
A person isn't who they are when they're drunk, or how they treat others; it's how they react when the world falls apart around them.
You are now signed into Twitter(R) in 2 locations. To sign off the other location(s), reply to this message with the number 1.
Don't wait until your friend's funeral to tell them you care.
The greatest relationship is a partnership. A partner has your back, looks out for you, and knows they don't have to ask the same in return.
Guess who has an emoji keyboard and hasn’t packed for his flight yet?
↖ This guy.
Almost made it to 11:00 without getting caremad.
When I start wondering how to refer to a block from within itself, it's time to step back from the keyboard.
Is it wrong to hate a certain race?
Because I really hate NASCAR.